The Adventures of Maggie and Ella

Summer Breeze Half Marathon

2011-08-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Our busy day started with an 8am race in San Leandro. Cloudy skies and cool weather were fabulous for running. The two half-marathons I've done this summer have both been really enjoyable. It's always nice to have the family there to cheer me on, too.

Heritage Day at China Camp State Park

2011-08-27T22:43:00.000-07:00

The middle of the day was spent at one of our favorite places. The girls watched several Chinese dance performances and enjoyed playing at the beach.

Double playdate

2011-08-27T22:42:00.001-07:00

The day ended with Maggie's first grade friend Parker and her little sister Claire (who is just a month or two younger than Ella) coming over for a playdate. They played dress-up, house, and veterinarian indoors before going to the park, then came back to the house for dinner and a movie.

August 18, 2011

2011-08-27T22:36:00.001-07:00

DSC00210 first day of 2nd grade
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

The day after we arrived home from NY, it was time to start school! It's hard to believe Maggie is a second grader now. It's even more difficult to say goodbye to a summer that seemed to pass much too quickly!!

August 13, 2011 - Ella greeting the bride and groom

2011-08-27T22:34:00.001-07:00

DSC00129 Ella greeting the bride and groom
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Ella wishes the best for her new great-aunt Sandy and her great-uncle Tom.

August 13, 2011 - Tom and Sandy's wedding

2011-08-27T22:30:00.001-07:00

DSC00051 flowergirl and bride
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Maggie was pretty nervous about being a flower girl, but she looked lovely leading Sandy down the aisle, so to speak, at the North Tonawanda Botanical Garden.

Niagara Falls

2011-08-27T22:27:00.001-07:00

DSC09677 Niagara Falls
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Our only true "vacation" this summer was a get-away to NY for my Uncle's wedding. Having renewed our passports and gotten a USA passport for Ella just before the trip, we took the girls to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, which offers breathtaking views of both sections of the Falls.

August 7, 2011 - After the Walt Stack 10K and kids' run

2011-08-27T22:25:00.001-07:00

DSC09669 after the Walt Stack 10K and kids' run
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Chinese finger counting song

2011-08-27T22:24:00.001-07:00

Chinese finger counting song
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Yi zhi xiao zhi tou ya, yi zhi xiao zhi tou ya
Teeny tiny thumbkins, Teeny tiny thumbkins
Bian ya bian bian ya bian Turn turn turn, Turn turn turn
Bian cheng le xiao mao chong Turn into a caterpillar
Liang zhi xiao zhi tou ya, liang zhi xiao zhi tou ya
My two little fingers, my two little fingers
Bian ya bian bian ya bian Turn turn turn, Turn turn turn
Bian cheng le xiao bai tu Turn into a small rabbit
San zhi xuai zhi tou ya, san zhi xiao zhi tou ya
My three little fingers, my three little fingers
Bian ya bian bian ya bian Turn turn turn, Turn turn turn
Bian cheng le xiao hua mao Turn into a little cat
Si zhi xiao zhi tou ya, si zhi xiao zhi tou ya
My four little fingers, my four lit-tle fingers
Bian ya bian bian ya bian Turn turn turn, Turn turn turn
Bian cheng le hua hu die Turn into a butterfly
Wu shi xiao zhi tou ya, wu zhi xiao zhi tou ya
My five little fingers, my five little fingers
Bian ya bian bian ya bian Turn turn turn, Turn turn turn
Bian heng le da lao hu Turn into a big tiger

lion dancers Maggie and Lila

2011-08-27T22:23:00.001-07:00

lion dancers Maggie and Lila
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Marin Chinese Cultural Association Summer Camp 2011

June 17-19, 2011: FCC Campout

2011-06-22T22:00:00.001-07:00

DSC09219
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

June 17-19, 2011 - Ella was so excited to be able to keep up with the big girls. After practicing without training wheels for the past 2 weeks at home, she set off on the dirt road at the campground and rode all weekend long! We saw some old friends, made some new ones, ate s'mores, played at the playground, listened to campfire stories, and went horseback riding. Although conditions at the campground weren't ideal after the late-season rains, the weather was the best it's ever been in the 5 years we've camped with the group. We still miss David, Chiara, and Sofia, our first camping partners, and hope they'll join us again in the future.

June 10-17: Summer vacation begins!!

2011-06-22T21:53:00.001-07:00

DSC09142
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

During a week off of school and work, we relaxed and had fun. We went swimming in the Wine Country with Hetti & Lena, met up with Natalie and Naomi at the Oakland Zoo, rode bikes, and played at the park. I wish the whole summer could be like this!

Memories from PKS

2011-06-22T21:49:00.001-07:00

IMG_2657
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

As Presidio Knolls expands and moves across the city, they bid us Zai Jian with a CD of photos taken during the school year. It's hard to believe that Ella has nearly finished 2 years of preschool and will be in Pre-K in the fall.

June 6, 2011: Happy 70th Birthday, NaiNai!

2011-06-22T21:46:00.001-07:00

DSC09043
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

We were happy to be able to celebrate NaiNai's birthday with her. We wish all the grandparents lived closer so we could share more memorable moments together!

June 5, 2011: Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon

2011-06-22T21:44:00.001-07:00

DSC08941
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Although he's been sick for about a week, Edward made a good showing in his first Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. It was great having his parents here to cheer him on!

May 28-30, 2011 - Travel group reunion

2011-06-22T21:42:00.001-07:00

DSC08877 piggyback tag
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

About 17 of the 22 families in our adoption travel group got together in Pismo Beach this year. The kids, even though some of them haven't seen each other since the last reunion, jump right back into being good friends and having a blast together.

May 27, 2011: Class popsicle party

2011-06-22T21:38:00.001-07:00

DSC08621 class popsicle party
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Having sold the most raffle tickets for the Auction, Ms. M-E's class earned a popsicle party at the end of the school day on one of the last Fridays of the year.

Monday, May 9, 2011

2011-06-22T21:36:00.001-07:00

DSC08469 birthday hat
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Arriving at school, Maggie gets to wear the birthday hat, which happens to match her outfit!

May 9, 2011: Riding to school on her new scooter

2011-06-22T21:35:00.001-07:00

DSC08465 riding to school on her new scooter
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

As we dropped Ella off at preschool, we surprised Maggie with a pink Razor scooter in the back of the Escape. She was so happy to ride it to school!

Happy Birthday!

2011-06-22T21:34:00.001-07:00

DSC08439 lemonade cake
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Celebrating 7 years of Maggie and 6 years as a family.

2011-06-22T21:32:00.001-07:00

DSC08433 trampoline pandemonium
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Ella's first swimming lessons on her own

2011-06-22T21:30:00.001-07:00

IMAG0149
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

May 8, 2011 - with Hiroe, who has an amazing way of making kids happy and comfortable in the water.

April 24, 2011 - Backyard Easter egg hunt

2011-06-22T21:28:00.001-07:00

DSC08389
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Although it was rainy and foggy in San Francisco, we had gorgeous sunshine in San Rafael for our afternoon egg hunt at home.

Rainy Easter morning run

2011-06-22T21:26:00.003-07:00

DSC08371 Lena, Maggie and Hetti
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

DSE Runners' Kids Race on Easter morning (April 24, 2011) in San Francisco.

April North Bay FCC Playgroup

2011-06-22T21:26:00.001-07:00

DSC08366 Marika, Lena, Marina, Maggie and Hetti
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

April 23, 2011 - Although the turnout is usually small (anywhere from 2-6 families), both kids and parents enjoy our monthly get-togethers.

April 9-11, 2011: Ski trip

2011-06-22T21:22:00.001-07:00

DSC08329 Maggie & Mommy at Squaw
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Although our "girls' weekend" in the snow, planned for 5, turned into just Maggie and me, we had a great time! We stayed at Northstar but ventured over to Squaw one day. The skiing was challenging but the views were spectacular!

Maggie's fashion sense - that's my girl!

2011-06-22T21:21:00.001-07:00

DSC08305 Maggie's fashion sense - that's my girl!
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Pairing tie-dye and zebra stripes. At least she's not making skirts out of pillowcases (yet)!

March 31-April 3, 2011: San Diego trip

2011-06-22T21:19:00.001-07:00

DSC08256 running on the beach
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Oceanside, CA, April 2, 2011

Pre-dawn beach playground

2011-06-22T21:18:00.001-07:00

DSC08222 playground pre-dawn
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Oceanside Ironman 70.3, April 2, 2011

Ella on the carousel

2011-06-22T21:17:00.001-07:00

DSC08206 Ella on the carousel
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

San Diego Wild Animal park, April 1, 2011

Keeping cool

2011-06-22T21:16:00.001-07:00

DSC08152 keeping cool
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

April 1, 2011 - a quick trip to San Diego for the Ironman 70.3 in Oceanside included time to visit the San Diego Wild Animal Park with Nana Popo and Papa GongGong on a super hot day.

March 25, 2011: Principal's Awards

2011-06-22T21:14:00.001-07:00

DSC08086 Principal's Awards March 25, 2011
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Maggie earned hers for Perseverence.

Maggie reading to Sphinx

2011-06-22T21:13:00.001-07:00

DSC08079 Maggie reading to Sphinx
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

March 22, 2011 - We bought a used copy of The Hobbitt (after beginning to read the story to the girls in the condo at Northstar). Maggie is becoming more confident with her reading, and has an appreciative audience in Sphinx.

February & March fun

2011-03-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

February included trips to the Academy of Sciences,

visits with friends in LA,

fun in gymnastics,

and with baby dolls at the park!

The highlight of March so far has been our family weekend at Northstar. Ella had a much better time at ski school and Maggie enjoyed spending time on the slopes with me & Baba.

There have been some ups and downs at home (behaviorally for the girls and health-wise for me) but right now we are all doing well, so I am thankful.

Today I went into the hospital for some pro bono work on a raccoon with a minor jaw fracture and major tooth fracture, and a young kitty with stomatitis. Lots of work but very enjoyable; I won't get to see the raccoon again before she is released, but I'm looking forward to seeing the kitty all fat and happy in a few weeks (she's super-skinny right now, just under 7 lbs; her foster mom will keep her for at least the next month so we can make sure she recovers completely before she's adopted out).

Maggie wrote the cutest story for her March "class share" assignment. It's about a family of daffodils in the forest ("a Mommy, a Dad and 4 babies"), and one of the babies is not growing well because he's under a tree and the squirrels keep accidentally kicking dirt on him as they climb the tree. A nice man on a hike sees the small, dirty flower, digs it up, and plants it in his garden at home (where it is "green and pleasant"). The other daffodils miss the little dirty one but know he will be taken care of and will grow tall and beautiful. It's fascinating to me how adoption themes can appear in the most unexpected places!

Despite our difficulties, I do feel quite blessed to be the mother of these 2 amazing girls. Ella said this morning at breakfast (random!) that she wished she had been born from my tummy. My response was "I understand why you feel that way. But I don't wish that, because then you wouldn't be YOU. And you are so special to me. I love you just the way you are." (which led into me singing the Bruno Mars song, one of Ella's favorites. She gave me a huge, crinkle-faced smile and a great big hug. Definitely one of those "makes it all worthwhile" moments.

Celebrating Two Years as Sisters!

2011-02-16T20:54:00.000-08:00

新年快乐 (Xin Nian Kuai Le): Happy Lunar New Year!)

2011-02-02T21:37:00.000-08:00

The Year of the Rabbit is supposed to be "a quiet year, with an unhurried pace". That sounds absolutely perfect!

Unless you are waiting for your referral for a child from China, in which case things could slow down even further (which no one thought was possible).:-(

Back in 2008, almost 2 years after we had submitted our dossier to the CCAA requesting to adopt a second daughter (and it was already obvious that the days of the 1-year, start-to-finish China adoptions were over), we began thinking about changing to a special needs adoption. Disappointed with the lack of communication from our facilitating agency at the time, and having learned about what we perceived to be serious breaches of ethics on the part of that agency, we elected to start over with a new agency. Although this required new paperwork, and writing off the $4900 we'd already paid our original agency, within 4 months of signing on with Bay Area Adoption Services we had submitted our new dossier and were matched with Ella! We were so happy with our experience with BAAS, and so concerned for families still waiting with our old agency, we shared our story whenever we could, and encouraged people to "jump ship" and go with BAAS's waiting child program. Sadly, these efforts were often met with hostility. For some reason, many of the families who have worked with our first agency seem to feel like the leader of that agency is some kind of deity, and any suggestion that he might not be forthcoming with important information was rapidly shot down. One person, who said she was not comfortable sharing my information about our former agency with other families, wrote: "Basically what you are telling me is that I will never see my second child." I was trying to help people meet their goals of forming a family by sharing information and encouraging alternatives. But it wasn't what they wanted to hear at the time. Now, that same person is writing "The program continues to dim. No one will communicate with us.... I just don't know if we'll ever hold that child at this point. That's our reality, and I'm so pissed...."

I'm incredulous at the anger that was directed at me, and is now raining down on the CCAA, while no one on our former agency's newsgroup seems upset about the fact that the agency has NEVER updated any of their families on the slowdown. (In fact that agency is still accepting applications - along with nearly $5000, of course - from new families!! Unbelievable! I volunteer with BAAS, and we've been telling prospective parents for almost 2 years now that China's non-special needs program is essentially closed to all but those of Chinese descent.)

I feel for all of those families who are still waiting, or who have dropped out of the program altogether, abandoning the dream of one more child. But knowing how many waiting children are in China's orphanages - children with known, treatable medical conditions - I am somewhat angry myself at all of the bitterness being displayed by those who continue to wait. If more people would open their hearts and minds to adopting a special needs child, more families would be formed and everyone would benefit. (And the truth of the matter is, there's no such thing as a "non-special needs" adoption. I know many, many kids from the NSN adoption route who require speech therapy, occupational therapy, attachment therapy, etc. And those of you who know us personally know that our NSN child is far more high-maintenance than our "special needs" child!)

Thanksgiving in New England...and now, Happy New Year!

2011-01-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

My favorite place to be at Thanksgiving is where Thanksgiving got started, in New England. This was Ella's first time celebrating Thanksgiving with Meme and Papa. The girls had a good time helping Meme make cranberry sauce,

helping Papa feed the birds

and playing with their cousins, Bella and Jacob.

I love this photo of the four of them:

They were genuinely happy, and it was just a nice bonus that they were all dressed up for Thanksgiving dinner. (And we didn't even plan it, but Bella was wearing a Gymboree dress from the same collection as Maggie and Ella's!)

We also spent some time with my best childhood friend, Rose, and her family, who live on 10 acres. The girls got to pet their horse and some chickens.

The weather was cold and clear, perfect for running a 5-miler on Thanksgiving Day and a 5-K in Barrington, RI that Saturday. Thanksgiving is easily my favorite holiday, with the four essential Fs: family, friends, food and fun runs. It was a near-perfect vacation. The trip was over much too soon!

Upon our return, we attended another Thanksgiving of sorts, the Marin Chinese Cultural Association Mid-Winter Festival potluck, where the girls got to make dumplings

and later embarrassed me by climbing all over the furniture and being hyper.

A couple of days later, YeYe and NaiNai arrived for a visit to help celebrate Ella's 4th birthday.

We had her party at Art Abloom in San Anselmo, and although the guest list was shrunken a bit by illness and sibling schedules, it was a fantastic party.

It was Ella's special day, so she got to wear whatever she wanted:

(which prompted a tantrum by you-know-who because SHE didn't get to wear a fancy dress).

Unfortunately, NaiNai and YeYe didn't get to stay for Sunday's gymnastics show, where Maggie redeemed herself and was an awesome big sister

to Ella, who was a little nervous at first, but managed to do her routine pretty well. It's really adorable to watch:

Maggie's isn't quite as endearing, but given that she went on her own when the other kids in her age group went in 3s (there were 10 kids in her age group, and the coaches didn't think ahead to make the groups 3, 3, 2, 2)!

Everyone got a medal at the end, and the girls were so proud.

The following week, Maggie's new loft bed arrived and Ella got to move up to a big-girl bed with gorgeous new bedding (thanks, Meme & Papa!). They were both excited about their new digs.

I was a little sad to dismantle the crib, knowing there won't be any more babies, but given how I've got my hands full with these 2, the twinges of melancholy were brief!

Our December FCC playgroup was at the ice rink again, where Edward captured this really weird image:

And then Christmas was upon us!

We baked & decorated cookies using my Great-grandmother's recipes (but not her finesse for icing, I'm afraid!).

Christmas was especially magical this year, because Ella was excited and anticipating it, and Maggie was fully into the Santa pretending this year, especially when she awoke to find a playhouse under her bed and a horse in a purse (courtesy of our good friend Kyra, who'd outgrown it).

(And she hasn't tried to steal Ella's little white dog since receiving the horse!)

Ella's only request of Santa this year was for pink slippers, so she was thrilled to come downstairs and find them waiting for her.

Although technically it was from me and not for me, my favorite gift of the year was Maggie's Kindergarten Art book.

I'd compiled almost all of the artwork she'd done last year in Mrs. Gray's class, and published it via Shutterfly. It's really fun to look back at the year this way.

The girls both got cameras, and Maggie wasted no time in using it. She took this portrait of her Panda Pillow Pet

this one of Papa GongGong during a Skype conversation (remarkably clear, isn't it??)

and this one of the Golden Gate Bridge:

Speaking of that trip to the city, the highlight of the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve was a visit from Sofia and her parents! Although it's been 2 years since Maggie and Sofia had seen each other face-to-face, they picked up right where they left off before Sofia moved to Singapore.

It was really fun to watch the three of them together, and I was sad that it will probably be another year or two before they are together again.

(We were planning to spend 3-4 weeks in China this summer and were hoping to maybe see them then, but we had to put a new hot water heater in and decided to go tankless, so China will have to wait until next summer!)

We ended 2010 and started 2011 with a trip to the snow. Christmas never feels like Christmas to me without snow (I still find it so depressing to shop for a Christmas tree with nothing but mud on the ground), so I was thrilled to head up to north Lake Tahoe for a few days.

Ella went to ski school for the first time

and on our last day, Maggie got to ski with us while Ella was in day care.

Despite the fog and snow, the three of us had a great time skiing together. Hopefully we'll get up to Northstar again this winter.

FCC girls at Snoopy's Home Ice

2010-11-18T22:22:00.003-08:00

DSC05187 FCC girls at Snoopy's Home Ice
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Little ice skaters

2010-11-18T22:22:00.001-08:00

DSC05160 Kyra, Maggie and Ilana
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Our FCC playgroup hit the ice this month, with a trip to Snoopy's Home Ice in Santa Rosa. Maggie hasn't been on skates since last winter, and she was nervous at first, but quickly found her balance and had a great time. Ella screamed (in fear, not excitement!) when she first went out on the ice but within a few minutes was feeling more comfortable. Love that "Puppy and Parent practice" where the kids can use chairs to stabilize themselves! We'll be heading back for December's playgroup.

Maggie's perfect back bend with toe point

2010-11-18T22:17:00.001-08:00

DSC04817 Maggie's perfect back bend with toe point
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Maggie is really thriving in her new gymnastics class; she's been going for an hour and a half every Wednesday for the past 6 weeks or so, and will definitely be continuing. (She's come a long way from having no core strength when she was 4!)

Saturday morning snuggles

2010-11-18T22:14:00.001-08:00

DSC05141 Saturday morning snuggles
Originally uploaded by Milinda, Edward, Maggie & Ella

Saturday, November 13, 2010: The girls let me sleep in a little while by quietly reading while snuggling in Maggie's bed.

A perfect day

2010-11-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

The girls were off for Veterans' Day today, and I closed my practice for the day to stay home with them. We started the day with a breakfast of pancakes, (fake) bacon and (fake) sausage, with real maple syrup, in our PJs. Then we went to the YMCA for a 5-mile run for me and outdoor play for the girls, followed by swimming in the lovely, warm indoor pool. After our shower we went home for lunch, followed by a nap for Ella and a game of Life for Maggie and me (Maggie had twin girls and then another girl baby; I had two sets of twins: first girls, then boys! She was a veterinarian, I was a physician. Maggie accumulated $1.2 million - I beat her by $40K in the end!). We painted both girls' finger nails. (Maggie earned her toenails painted as well, by finishing her reward sticker chart). Then we got our hair trimmed, went to the park, came home, had pasta for dinner, and baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was a fantastic day, with no timelines, no tears, and no time-outs!

The beginning of the end

2010-10-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

...of the year, that is. As of tomorrow it is November! I find that after Halloween, the chaos really begins, and doesn't stop until after Chinese New Year in late January or early February. Even leading up to Halloween has been pretty hectic this year, especially since I made the girls' costumes. It was hard to keep up in Chinese school last Saturday, since I was hand sewing dragon scales at the same time. Last Sunday was the annual Halloween party with our China adoption friends,

this week there were parties at school,

the Healdsburg Wine Country Half Marathon (Edward took the girls to Chinese school while I ran),

and of course pumpkin carving, cookie-baking, and trick-or-treating.

We had nice enough weather today to go for a bike ride, and Maggie and I rode a little over 5 miles. (Wonder how my legs are going to feel tomorrow?!) As of today, we've gotten through 4 days without a tantrum, which is a record since late August, I think. There was still a lot of vacillation between angry-grumpy and happy-hyper, but at least we got through the weekend with no major meltdowns and only a minor aggressive episode (half-heartedly hitting my leg with an 8 lb weight when it was Ella's turn for my undivided attention). There's still quite a bit of fighting over Mommy, even though I try to make sure each girl gets one-on-one time with me every day.

I'm up at UC Davis tomorrow, and next weekend will be teaching at a conference in San Diego. My heart is definitely not in the teaching right now, and it's hard to stay motivated. My practice is still busy, and I'm still enjoying work, but we've had quite a few really sad cases lately (a handful of non-operable tumor cases, a pathologic bilateral mandibular fracture dog whose parents elected euthanasia, and the sudden, unexpected passing of a kitty we've known for years, found dead in his front yard). Overall it's been quite exhausting, emotionally and physically, both at home and work. I need more sleep!

Is anyone still even reading this?!

2010-10-16T22:05:00.000-07:00

After a nearly 3-month break from blogging, I am finally ready to resume. We had lots of fun over the summer, with a surprise visit from Uncle Jason (interviewing in Palo Alto) and NaiNai

and a fantastic week at Montecito Sequoia family camp

but then came the first day of school

and life has not been the same since. We're still not sure why, but first grade has been really difficult. We are back to dealing with tantrums several times a week, as well as aggression and defiance. It's at best puzzling and at worst...well, at its worst it is almost unbearable, really. We are all exhausted. We have outside help now, so there's light at the end of the tunnel, but we are still struggling.

There have been some fun times, to be sure, like the MarinChinaFamilies Autumn Moon Cruise,

September MCF playgroup,

a 15K race on a lovely, sunny day in Oakland,

and a Pumpkin Patch Halloween Birthday Party featuring most of Maggie's kindergarten classmates.

The highlight of the past two months was our trip to Chicago last week.

We visited the Children's Museum,

and cheered on Baba as he ran the Chicago Marathon,

then had a few relaxing days with NaiNai, YeYe, and Uncle Jason.

The trip was not without its tears, but overall we had a good time, and the journey home was relatively pleasant despite an amazing, scary-to-drive-through thunderstorm on the way back to Chicago.

We had a little surprise back at the SFO airport, when we discovered my car battery was dead (someone had turned on their "reading light" and not turned it off when we got to the parking garage!), but fortunately AAA was able to send someone out quickly to get us jumped and on our way home.

Finally, after what felt like much too long, we got together with Hetti and Lena today for Disney On Ice.

This month they celebrated their 7th birthday, and we are about to share our 5th Halloween together! We were recalling all of their previous Halloween costumes, which prompted me to look at the old photos. Gosh, it's amazing how they've all grown:

2009:

2008:

2007:

2006:

It's heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time to look back on their baby days! If there's been one, singular thing I've been thankful for during these past few months, it's family, and the friends who've become like family. I don't know how we would get through the tough times without that circle of support. (So I apologize for deserting you in the blogosphere recently, and will do my best to at least get a photo or two up each month, even when I don't feel much like writing!)

Summer fun

2010-07-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

Friday, July 9 - MarinChinaFamilies evening picnic playgroup:

Saturday, July 10 - A fairy tale wedding - Nicole (former employee, now UCD SVM class of 2013) and Mark (UOP dental school class of 2010):

Sunday, July 11 - Edward's first triathlon:

FCC - N. Calif. Pool Party later that same day:

Thursday, July 15 - Saying goodbye to long (tangle-prone, paint-covered) hair:

Friday, July 16 - Preschool field trip to Bay Area Discovery Museum:

Camp Galileo Medieval week end celebration, that same day:

And later that night, Maggie and Baba at the Penguins + Pajamas sleepover at the California Academy of Sciences:

Maggie chose to sleep under this guy:

and in the morning, reported that she had slept "not well" because she "had bad dreams, about Cheetahs eating people!"

Sunday, July 18 - good, old-fashioned water fights:

And now I'm looking forward to a weekend of doing absolutely nothing...

Happy Independence Day!

2010-07-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

The beginning of summer has been abuzz with activity so far. On Father's Day weekend we went camping at Olema with a few dozen other adoptive families; the girls had fun riding bikes,

playing at the playground and in the tents,

catching minnows,

and roasting marshmallows.

Despite missing our original campmates, who now live in Singapore, we did have a pretty good time overall.

The highlight of the weekend was horseback riding at Five Brooks Ranch. Maggie and Ella got a little trail ride on two very sweet and gentle horses, Bruno and Montana.

Maggie can't wait to go back for a full hour trail ride later this summer (with Mommy in the saddle, too!)

A week of soccer camp followed, and this past weekend we went to the County Fair.

On Friday, Maggie and Baba went to the fair on their own, and went up in the big ferris wheel, from which Edward took these photos on his new Droid phone:

We all went together on Saturday, the highlights being the carousel rides,

dragon roller coaster,

eating cotton candy,

and visiting baby piglets!

We spent the actual 4th of July in Alameda, running a 5K and watching the parade with Hetti & Lena,

and today Maggie started at Camp Galileo but we managed a late afternoon trip to the pool.

Since starting Mommy & Me swim lessons at the Y last month, Ella has become much more confident in the water. We've been swimming a few times outside of our lessons, and she is now comfortable "wall walking" in the big pool and playing independently in the baby pool.

It's quite fun to see her transition from a fearful, clingy toddler into a comfortable preschooler ready to jump into the pool. Hopefully the remainder of the summer will present us with many more opportunities to have fun in the water.

Summer break, big girl bike

2010-06-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Maggie's last day of kindergarten. It's hard to believe how quickly the year has passed. When I visited the classroom this morning it made me sad to see the almost-bare walls, where just a few days ago there were colorful works of art. All four kindergarten classes had a picnic at the park today, and I had coincidentally scheduled myself off work (because we're already booked for procedures through mid-July and I didn't want to see more consults), so I got to help out.

After the morning gathering (the last morning gathering I'll be able to see until next year!)

we walked to the park, where the kids ate and played (and I rescued a baby garter snake from the curious hands of a half-dozen 6-year-olds!) and gave Mrs. Gray her "Thank You" book.

(Maggie's page reads: "Thank you, Mrs. Gray, for teaching me Alpha Friends. I liked being Star of the Week because I got to sit in the special chair and do Mystery Box. Love, Maggie")

She came home with a bag of artwork she'd done over the year, which I love looking through. There's so much, but I hate to throw any of it away! (However, after watching an episode or 2 of "Hoaders", I'm now more inclined to select 10-20 pieces to keep, then scan & toss the rest!) The after-care center returned her little "getting to know you" card, on which she'd stated "Two things I dislike are... not sucking my finger and trying to share with Ella". Well, she's still sucking her finger when she sleeps (we may have to start taping it when those permanent upper incisors come in!) but she is SO much better at sharing with her sister. They play together really well, and it's rare for me to play referee these days.

After school Maggie and I went bike riding and took her old tiny bike to the shop for a new back tire (after 3 kids riding the coaster brakes, the back tire was done!). Then, when Maggie was in Chinese school and when Ella awoke from her nap, she tried out her "new" bike (handed down from our neighbor's two girls and then from Maggie, but new to Ella so still pretty exciting!).

She did amazingly well, riding from home to the park and around and around the playground. After about a half-hour, as we were heading home, she was so proud that "I didn't even fall off!".

I'm looking forward to watching them biking around the campground this weekend.

books on my wish list

2010-06-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I posted anything about the girls. And right now I will just direct you to flickr, where there are lots of photos of our recent goings-on! But here's a photo of the girls during yesterday's visit to the Marine Mammal Center:

Instead I wanted to mention summer reading. Right now on my nightstand is "U2 by U2", which I received as a gift last month (just before U2 canceled their upcoming shows due to Bono's back surgery.) The last book I read before that was "The Help", which I really enjoyed, but that was months ago. With summer coming, I am hoping to start some new books.

Just the other day I finally got a moment to read the Economist from March (the one with "Gendericide: What happened to 100 million baby girls?" on the cover) and inside is a review for the new book by Xinran (author of "The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices", which I loved). This one appears to be much more difficult to read. "Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love" is nonfiction, compiled from interviews with women in China who have lost daughters through abandonment, abortion or infanticide. I have ordered it, but will need to delay reading it until I have a day in which I can lie in bed and cry all day. (Hmmm, maybe the day before my colonoscopy* next month, since I will be confined to the house and won't be able to do much else anyway!) This is the kind of book I will want my girls to have access to when they are adults, though, as it reveals the depth of pain that birthmothers have experienced in their loss, a perspective not previously revealed to us.

Xinran herself has recommended five books for anyone who wants to understand Chinese culture. Some of them look particularly interesting to me, but I think I may want some lighter fare for summer!

On the Adoption, Etc. blog (written by an adult adoptee), there is a link to a review of a novel entitled "The Red Thread". Although a work of fiction, it sounds like it has elements of real life. I will probably wait for the paperback version, though.

My next read, which should arrive on Thursday, will be "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society", which was recommended by a friend last year. It sounds like the perfect blend of fictional character development and humor in a historically factual setting. (Most of my favorite books in the past several years have been similar: fictional characters living through events that actually happened. I suppose that's why "Titanic" was so popular as a movie; the historical bits draw you in to the story, the character development keeps you there.) I'll be sure to post a little blurb about whether I liked it once I've finished it.

*: Nothing to worry about, I just had another episode of what may be ischemic colitis during the half marathon last weekend, so my neighbor (who is a surgeon) recommended I get checked out just to rule out anything OTHER than hypotension, dehydration and shunting blood to my legs (and away from my GI tract) as a possible cause.

Maggie is six!

2010-05-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

Saturday started with Maggie's birthday party, at the place where she and Ella take gymnastics.

The girls had almost as much fun squishing into the plastic slide as playing on the gymnastics equipment.

There was actually one boy in attendance this year - there were supposed to be 2, but one of them had a concussion recently and didn't want to risk re-injuring his brain. It's funny, looking at the guests, I realized that the ones who weren't Chinese were blond.

(I wonder what's up with that?)

We had surprised Maggie with a new pink leotard (and matching removable skirt) for the party, and of course Ella wanted to "dress up" too, so she got to wear her ballet outfit.

Other than some tears after a foam block hit her in the eye,

Maggie seemed to have a good time at the party. The trampoline and the bungee chair were her favorites. After an hour of crazy activity, all the kids were ready for lunch & cake. (After last year's castle cake debacle, we decided to buy a cake at Costco this year.)

After the party, Hetti & Lena came over and the girls played dress-up for a while

before we headed to the park to enjoy the sunshine.

After dinner, Maggie and Baba went to a father-daughter dance at school.

Sunday was Maggie's actual birthday, and she came down the stairs to find her new bike in the family room:

She had a few minutes to try it out before we had to leave for the DSE race.

Then it was the girls' turn, as the Kids' Race followed the 5K.

Of course, the big girls beat us to the finish line, but I was impressed that Ella jogged the whole thing without any breaks.

She was so proud of herself.

(It's amazing to think that her little heart can do that now, after how she started out in life! I wish I could send her birthparents these photos.)

After the race, Uncle Craig came over for lunch and Maggie opened her presents.

The weather wasn't as nice as Saturday, but Maggie still got outside to ride her new bike a bit before the rain came again.

This evening we had perfect weather, so after dinner we all went to the park - Maggie on her new bike and Ella on her tricycle. I wish I'd brought the camera, because the two of them were so cute riding together. It was a wholly enjoyable evening, and one of those times when I feel so blessed to be their mom.

Good news!

2010-05-05T20:43:00.001-07:00

I received an update from Love Without Boundaries that little Ella in Fuyang had her heart surgery today and is doing great!

Also, a cat with stomatitis (an inflammatory condition where the whole mouth is ulcerated and painful) whom I've been treating for almost 3 years is finally better. His mouth looked normal at his recheck today (albeit with no teeth!). Yay, Sammy!

As for our own kids, two-legged and four-legged, they are all doing well. Aslan actually likes his insulin injections (he always gets extra lovin' after each shot) and comes running when he hears me getting the syringe ready. Sphinx, bless her heart, has been sleeping with Maggie, who is still adjusting to not having her original Sleep Dog (now that her permanent upper incisors are about to erupt, we really don't want her sucking her finger). Kiefer is as entertaining as ever; he fell into the bathtub (which was full of ice cold water, as I'd just taken an ice bath after a 9-mile run) on Sunday morning. Then he was terrified of the towel as I tried to catch him to dry him off.

Maggie's 6th birthday is approaching, and she is excited! I am looking forward to her being 6 - 5 was so much better than 4, and 6 promises to be even better. She is TONS better about self-regulating - she still gets upset easily, but can calm herself fairly quickly - and it's been really fun to watch her as she learns to read. She's been enjoying numbers, too: she got a "star +" on her addition homework last week, and today, just for fun, she counted to 130.

Ella's language acquisition continues to improve, and she is forming more and more complex sentences and paragraphs. Although she is still my little snuggle baby, she is asserting her independence more, picking out her own outfits and requesting certain accessories. (She even told me "That doesn't match me!" when I picked out a jacket for her the other day.) Just this week we converted her crib into a toddler bed, and she is now getting up to go potty during her naps or at night. We had her in pull-ups for the trip to Boston last month but she did not need them - even at night she did fine.

Our trip to Boston was fun, but too short. The girls especially enjoyed playing with their cousins this time. It is getting harder to leave after having had such nice times with family & friends.

Birthmother discussions

2010-05-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

Next Sunday is Maggie's birthday and the day she was abandoned, Mother's Day, and the 5th anniversary of the day we met her. Lots of complicated feelings there. Today in the car, we were discussing next weekend, and Maggie asked me why I picked May 9 as her birthday. I laughed and said "I didn't choose your birthday, honey, your birthmother and you did! You decided when you would be born!" Then I told her about my feelings about next weekend: although I am so happy that she is my daughter, and we celebrate the day we met her, I am a little sad that she couldn't stay with her birthmother, and that her birthmother hasn't gotten to see what an amazing, special, smart, wonderful, beautiful girl she has grown into. Maggie became tearful and said "I miss her!" We talked about her for a few minutes, and she also cried that she hasn't been looking up at the moon (we talk about the moon being visible from here and China, and how her birthmother can see the same moon we see, just at a different time). I reminded her that she can also think about her birthmother whenever she looks at her belly button, since that's where she was connected to the inside of her birthmother's uterus before she was born. (I like to use anatomy to bring up birth family - when I wash her feet or trim her toenails I tell her that I wonder if her feet look just like her birthmother's, for example.) I also reminded her that Meme was adopted, and shares some of the same feelings of missing her birthmother, so she can talk to Meme anytime she wants to. As we pulled into the YMCA parking lot, we decided that Maggie could write her birthmother a letter. (She knows we may never know who her birthmother is, but on the chance that we ever do find her, 10, 15 or 20 years from now, what a gift to give her!)

Birthmother discussions have been a part of our family since Maggie came home. We had a book made of our adoption trip, and although it is not a life book (about her life before she met us), it is a nice way to talk about how our family was formed. There's never been any awkwardness about it in our family; she's known she was adopted for as long as she's known she's a girl. Now she's old enough to begin to understand the loss that preceded the adoption, so it's going to be a new experience to "celebrate" her adoption this year, but I feel prepared for it.

FCC - N. California co-hosted a showing of "Adopted: The Movie" last weekend, after which the audience formed small discussion groups. It was hard to watch, but definitely worthwhile. For me, one of the most shocking scenes was when Jennifer (an adult Korean adoptee raised by white parents who basically ignored her ethnic heritage in an attempt to be "colorblind") asks her mother (who is dying of cancer) what she thinks about her birthmother, to which the mother responds "I appreciate the fact that we have you, and I am thankful for that, but beyond that, I don't care about her." I found this scene particularly disturbing, especially when, after Jennifer attempts to explain why she WANTS her mother to care about her birthmother and to be curious about her, the mother just shuts her down and refuses to continue the conversation. It was so clear that the mother was putting her own needs above her grown daughter's needs, unknowingly letting her own insecurities get in the way of a closer relationship with her daughter.

One of the things Jennifer says in her interview with the filmmakers is that, while she knows her parents did what they thought was best, she expects adoptive parents today to do better. I am so thankful to the adult transracial adoptees who have shared their feelings and have educated those of us who are adopting now. Two things always surprise me when I come across them in discussions with other parents: 1) Parents who have not yet begun discussing their children's adoption stories with them, and 2) Parents who, in an attempt to help the child "fit in" with the rest of their family, ignore their children's ethnicity, making no attempt to help the children identify with their birth culture. Because of the wealth of information we now have from social workers, educators, and adult adoptees, it is my impression that these 2 factors have the potential to be "make it or break it" points that differentiate well-adjusted transracial adoptees from those who become bitter as adults. I don't pretend to have all the answers, and I'm certainly not arrogant enough to think my kids will "skate through life" with no angst about their situations, but I do feel better prepared to help them navigate the complicated feelings that will arise.

The other little Ella is still fighting for her life!

2010-04-15T13:37:00.001-07:00

Baby Ella has been hospitalized; just like our Ella, who almost didn't make it long enough to have her heart surgery, this little one needs our help!

For those of you who haven't seen the heartbreaking photos of our Ella when she was hospitalized and nearly died:

I originally avoided putting such a shocking image on the blog, but am hoping that seeing the fragile state of one precious child will prompt more visitors to this blog to help another.

If not for the generosity of people on the other side of the world and the dedication of those in China who did not give up on her, the sweet 3-year-old whose smile lights up my life would not be here today. Can you be one of the angels who helps this tiny girl?

There are angels among us

2010-04-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

About 10 days ago, a comment on our blog from a fellow Hefei mom (thank you, Betsy!) led me to an amazing connection. I have since contacted Lori, who was instrumental in Ella's survival in China; as the coordinator for Love Without Boundaries' heart surgery program at that time, she arranged Ella's surgery and post-operative nutrition as well as raising funds/finding sponsors and keeping the sponsors updated. Until then we hadn't even been aware that LWB was responsible for Ella's surgery! We knew that she'd had a Half The Sky nanny, but were so happy to find that LWB was the charity who saved her life (particularly since we regularly donate to LWB!). Since connecting with Lori, we have requested and received information and an abundance of photographs.

Here's the first photo on record of her, at 14 weeks old. Her head is shaved and her scalp is bruised from placement of IV catheters.

A few days later, she looks so tiny at the Anhui Children's Hospital.

Three weeks later she was receiving oxygen on a bus to the Zhejiang Children's Hospital in Hangzhou.

I knew that she'd been very sick, but to read about just HOW sick she was brought me to tears. She was in critical condition in the ICU on more than one occasion before her surgery, and her pneumonia just wouldn't go away. They weren't sure she'd make it through the surgery, but felt she had a better chance of recovering from the pneumonia if her heart defect was repaired.

After her successful surgery, she was still too weak to eat much, and she looks so frail upon her return to the SWI.

But once again, LWB came to the rescue with extra formula and rice cereal just for her, and by the end of September she was looking like the chubby, happy girl we know, and the orphanage began the process of preparing her paperwork to submit for adoption.

Seeing all of this just makes me that much more grateful that she is our daughter. What an ordeal she endured, at such a young age! And the many angels who brought her to us: Lori, the sponsors who contributed for RongWan's surgery and post-op nutrition, the doctors & nurses in Hefei and Hangzhou, the caretakers at the SWI, RongWan's Half The Sky nanny, Xiaoqing, and of course, my Nana (who died on March 14, 2007, a week and a half before RongWan's first trip to the Emergency Room at the Anhui Children's Hospital. I like to think that Nana started watching over Ella in China the moment she left us in NY, and that she is the one who kept nudging me to pursue adoption of a heart baby). We are so blessed to be the parents of this amazing child!

Please help another sweet Ella

2010-03-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

A 6-month old baby girl (called Ella by the Love Without Boundaries staff in Anhui Province) needs heart surgery as soon as possible. Love Without Boundaries is looking for sponsors for her surgery.

This hits close to home for me because our very own Ella was in the same province, in the same situation (large ventricular septal defect with heart failure, about 6 months old, awaiting surgery) at this time 3 years ago. Love Without Boundaries saved her life, and we are so grateful to them.

If you can, please consider donating even just $10 or $20 to help this precious little girl who might never make it to find her forever family without our help. (Donate here.)

Beautiful, happy sisters

2010-03-27T17:14:00.000-07:00

These portraits were taken on the one-year anniversary of Ella's adoption day. I can safely say that the girls are now best friends. They play together really well (though not without occasional screams of protest from Ella, especially when Maggie is pretending to be a mean dog), and the bouts of jealousy over Mommy's attention are few and far between. It's been a rollercoaster, to be sure, but the highs now far outnumber the lows, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

We had a volunteer meeting for BAAS today, and the subject of concurrent adoptions came up. Apparently some families are now submitting dossiers to more than one program: with the waits approaching 5 years for China non-special needs, people are submitting a dossier to China and another to Taiwan, Korea, or Ethiopia. I have to admit, every now and then I think, "We should have left our dossier in China with Group 124 (from our original agency), then we'd be going back for #3 next fall!" (Those are the best days, when parenting is so much fun that you think you can handle several more!) I've told Edward - "No matter how much I beg to go back for #3, don't let me convince you!! You have to put your foot down this time!" Because life would be so much more complicated with one more car seat, another agglomeration of activities to drive to, and one more shrieking voice echoing across the house! (But that doesn't stop me from daydreaming about it!)

My little girl is looking so much like a big girl now...

2010-03-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

A great weekend skiing!

2010-03-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

With our trip to China last winter, we did not make it to Tahoe, so the last time we went skiing was in 2008: at Northstar in February, where Hetti, Lena and Maggie went to their first day of ski school together

and at Yosemite in March.

It's hard to believe that Maggie was just a few months older than Ella is now!

And what a difference a couple of years makes. On that first Tahoe trip in February, I had the brilliant idea to try to take the kids down the Village Run at Northstar. I'd seen Helen do it, so I thought our girls could give it a try.

Nevermind that the run seems a lot longer when you're falling down every 3 feet, it was a blizzard that day, and we had at least one girl who peed her ski pants. What a nightmare. These are things that, though torturous at the time, make us laugh on looking back.

This time, we had a blast with the girls, despite the fact that Heavenly is neither mapped out as well nor as beginner-friendly as Northstar.

The condo we rented was terrific (and such a bargain!), the weather was extraordinary, the views were spectacular, the girls were a lot more comfortable on their skis, and falling down made them laugh instead of cry:

Other than a couple of exhaustion- and hypoglycemia-induced meltdowns, and a mishap on the 6-person Powderbowl Express lift (after which Maggie indignantly declared "It wasn't my fault!" - though it was, undeniably, her fault, as well as mine for not guiding her properly into her place between myself and Judy), the girls did exceptionally well.

Peter was our hero for the day, not only for leading the girls down the slopes time after time at the perfect speed, but for a) retrieving a glove Maggie dropped from the chair lift and b) carrying Maggie when she simply could not go another step (on the way to what we hoped would be lunch, but what turned out to be Gatorade and nachos!).

Maggie and I went up again for a couple of hours before heading home on Monday.

Oh, and she lost her other front tooth while we were there; check out her new smile:

Ella was not able to go to ski school (Heavenly starts them at 4 years old instead of 3 like Northstar) but did do a day of "ski-play" daycare where she was able to get out on skis for about 45 minutes. Unfortunately, the area where they took the littles was so isolated that I could not get over there to take photos. Next year we have to think about doing a ski lease for the season and going up much more frequently; once or twice a year is not enough!

Maggie has also been loving gymnastics class, and today we signed her up for another 8-week session. It was a beautifully warm and sunny day, and her long-sleeved t-shirt and velour pants seemed a bit heavy for gymnastics today, so we bought her a pink sparkly leotard (with matching hair scrunchy)

(which prompted me to remark "I am now the proud owner of a Chinese gymnast" at dinner). Look how strong she's getting!

Ella loves her gymnastics classes on Wednesday mornings also, and it is hard for her to watch on Thursday nights without wanting to get in on the action herself. She did have fun trying on another mom's stiletto slingbacks, though.

Ella has been a little clingy and whiny for the past few weeks. At first I thought she was getting sick, but she hasn't really had any symptoms other than a slighlty runny nose and an occasional cough. I hope this isn't a new phase of development - it's no fun when she wakes up cranky!

However, in spite of Ella's clinginess with Mommy, the girls have been getting along really well, as represented by this drawing by Maggie:

They played in the sandbox at the park yesterday for about a half hour without conflict of any kind. I actually was able to just sit and relax, enjoying the afternoon sunshine while they played. It really is wonderful to have two.

Xin nian kuai le (Happy New Year!)

2010-03-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Year of the Tiger! Now that the crazy festivities associated with the Lunar New Year have passed, I can take a moment to share some of our events and adventures.

January 31: Maggie and Baba hiking in San Rafael

February 3, 2010: Ella at the dentist

February 6, 2010: Celebrating Uncle Craig's birthday

February 7, 2010: MarinChinaFamilies Lunar New Year Party

and Maggie learned how to braid that night (using Bendaroos)

February 10, 2010: Language In Action NiHao Kids Lunar New Year celebration

The highlight of the month was our trip to Indiana (February 13-19), which included Ella's first time in the snow with us,

lots of Lego & babydoll play,

driving lessons,

a trip to the Studebaker Museum,

and great family time.

We also celebrated Valentine's Day, the Lunar New Year, and Ella's one year anniversary during our time in Indiana. The girls each received a red envelopes, happy New Year cards written in Chinese (I love living near San Francisco!), and a new book: The Seven Chinese Sisters for Maggie (we joked that we were going to adopt 5 more babies so there would be 7 sisters in our family - you should have seen the look on Maggie's face!) and My New Family for Ella.

With the money from their red envelopes, the girls asked to go to the Disney Store, where Maggie bought a stuffed animal (Bambi, whom she called Bamboo for a few days) and Ella chose a Pocahontas doll.

We all had colds, but what better time to be sick than when we could sleep in and didn't have to be anywhere at any given time? NaiNai took good care of us all.

It would have been a little sad to return if we hadn't had so much going on right away. We had a (sparsely attended) playgroup on Saturday (February 20) and ran in the Chinatown Chinese New Year 5K in the rain on Sunday morning:

Getting back to work & school was a little tough, but the girls recovered quickly from their colds and were thrilled to be back at gymnastics later that week. I was still under the weather, but the following weekend we attended a huge party at the Chinese Consulate on February 27, 2010:

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And on Sunday (February 28) we ran another race, this one in Oakland (Lake Merritt Joggers & Striders Couples' Relay)

which was followed by breakfast - how lucky we were to get a table for 8 with no waiting! And the girls behaved so well. :-)

We extended the morning with playtime at a nearby park (complete with homeless man who said "Mmm, mmm! That is fine!! I don't know what you're wearing, but it's working!" and on whom Judy eventually called the cops).

Never a dull moment around here, I'll tell ya!

February!

2010-02-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

Wow! One year ago today we were still anxiously awaiting our Travel Authorization, and I had just finished my 1st half-marathon. (It seems like a lifetime ago!)

Obviously I didn't blog much in January, so here are the highlights:

Trip to Oakland Zoo with Hetti & Lena on January 9:

Our neighbor Maya's 4th birthday party on Sunday, January 24:

the same day as the Between Two New Years Party!

We were so excited to present this year's Community Service Award to Xiaoqing, who has facilitated over 900 adoptions (including Ella's!):

Both girls started gymnastics lessons last week. We decided to try a new gym based on the recommendation of a friend. Ella's first class was on Wednesday, and she loved it!

(especially given that she got a treat afterwards!)

But she seemed quite proud of herself.

Maggie's first lesson was on Thursday evening, and she was quite nervous and shy at first. In fact, I had to get up on the trampoline with her for the first 5 minutes of class. But by the end she was off in another room, having a good time. We went back for Open Gym on Saturday morning, and both girls had a blast!!

Maggie's favorite was the bungee chair. Coach Barry was nice enough to let her have two rides, and I haven't heard her laugh so much since the go carts in Hefei last February!

She is very excited about going for her 2nd lesson this week (in fact, when I picked her up for Chinese school this afternoon, she said "Are we going to gymnastics??").

A while back I had decided that I didn't want my girls to get too serious about gymnastics (one because it is so injurious, and two because the field is rampant with eating disorders), so when Maggie didn't seem to want to participate in classes at MEGA a few years back, I wasn't upset. However, after learning about her core muscle weakness and her spatial awareness deficits, I really regretted having pulled her from gymnastics back then. And now, having been at the new gym last week, watching the 8-year-olds doing round-off, back handspring, back layouts, I am really happy that both of my girls want to do gymnastics! There is nothing like the feeling of flying. And talk about building self-esteem: almost anyone can run up and down a field, kicking a ball. But doing a back handspring, or landing a cartwheel on a 4"-wide piece of wood 4 feet off the floor? That takes extraordinary strength and confidence. So, we'll see where this goes. It could be a fleeting interest, or it could end up costing us an arm and a leg!! But either way, I think it will be good for both girls to have these experiences.

This is why I wanted to be a mom!

2010-01-05T21:37:00.000-08:00

It has been an amazing couple of weeks. After a few days off just doing nothing (other than baking and decorating cookies!),

we had a nice, quiet Christmas at home (with nary a "Hey, she got a better present than me!"),

followed by a fantastic trip to Disneyland (and we didn't even want to kill each other in the car on the drive down. However, I'm sure Edward wanted to kill himself after listening to the Mamma Mia soundtrack for the 4th time!). We had a great time visiting friends as well as at the park itself.

The best day was Tuesday, our last day there: we headed out to Santa Monica in the AM for breakfast (with a high school friend of mine and his wife and new baby) then took a long nap in the afternoon. After a late lunch/early dinner, we headed to the park, where we watched the holiday parade,

floated through It's A Small World,

flew on Dumbo,

braved the Matterhorn,

and did some shopping (Maggie chose 2 princess lockets - Belle and Ariel; Ella, of course, went right for the shoes!)

It was a perfect day.

The girls have been so happy, both together and individually. They are really enjoying each other's company, while simultaneously developing more self-esteem.

Ella has not wet herself once in the past three weeks (not even at night). She grins madly when I mention it to anyone; I have started saying not only "I am so proud of you" but also "Are you proud of yourself? You should be so proud!"

She has been having a ball dancing:

to Mamma Mia on New Year's Eve

and to Kool and the Gang tonight (during half time of the Orange Bowl - yay Hawkeyes!).

Maggie has been wonderful for the past few weeks. On the Monday before Christmas, she did not have school but Ella did, so Maggie and I had a movie date. We saw "The Princess and the Frog" (which we both loved!), with popcorn and lemonade. It was lovely. Lately I sense that she has been returning to her "old self", the sweet, loving and generous girl who seemed to have vanished at about 2.5 years of age. I have been volunteering in her classroom every other Monday, and have been able to see some of the work they've been doing. I've really enjoyed watching their writing progress, and especially seeing all their artwork. Here are a few of my favorites of Maggie's:

As of tonight, Maggie is beginning to read. Not just sight recognizing a handful of words, like she was doing 2 years ago, but actually decoding and figuring out words. It is so much fun to see. She read 7 pages of "Biscuit Goes To School" tonight before bed (with help, of course). She was so proud of herself.

These are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

Out of the mouths of babes...

2009-12-24T00:03:00.000-08:00

December 15, 2009:

Mommy: "It's too bad we couldn't have Pocahontas at the party, because Ella really likes Pocahontas."
Maggie: "Me too. Why couldn't she come?"
Mommy: "I guess because she doesn't live nearby."
Baba: "Where does she live?" (expecting the answer to be "Iowa", as he was born in Pocahontas, Iowa)
Maggie (with an incredulous look on her face and a tone that said "DUH!): "In DISNEYLAND!!"

December 22, 2009:

Maggie (not wanting to go upstairs in the dark): "I'm afraid of monsters."
Mommy: "Sweetie, monsters are just pretend. Just like the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny, and Santa Claus.** Would you like to pretend there is a fairy who lives in your room to protect you from the monsters?"
Maggie: "I have an idea! Maybe God can marry the tooth fairy and live in the wall in my room!"

(Above the castle, there are two small holes in the plaster where a drapery used to hang. Maggie decided a couple of months ago that one of those holes was where the tooth fairy came into her room.)

**See RQ post on this topic. I feel the same way. We still talk about Santa, princesses, fairies, unicorns and the like, with the preface that it's really fun to pretend!

December 23, 2009:

Ella: "Mommy, Kiefer sick. He not feel well."
Mommy: "Is that right?"
Ella: "Yeah. His breasts hurt."

(Obviously I'm explaining in a little too much detail when I'm suffering from PMS!!)

Ella's speech is improving all the time. She can put sentences together with much less effort now, and she's starting to tell little stories several sentences long. The last evaluation with the speech therapist placed her at 34 months (and she is 36 months old, so that's not too bad!). She is really starting to become her own person. Today she picked out her own outfit (purple striped 2-layer top and black pants, with pink suede boots) and she now prefers the big girl swings to the toddler swings. She is also figuring out when a book is upside down. Although I love to see her change and grow, I'm reluctant to give up her "baby-ness" just yet. Especially knowing that she is the last baby we'll have! But, there's still a ton to teach her (she doesn't know her colors yet, for example, and she can't quite count to 20). So there's still bunches more fun to be had!

Pre-holiday festivities

2009-12-23T21:32:00.000-08:00

Within the past week we have had a few events which have really gotten us into the holiday spirit. The first, on Wednesday December 16, was the holiday pageant at Ella's preschool. The youngest of the classes, the Green Frogs were supposed to dance down the aisle playing plastic inflatable guitars to "Jingle Bell Rock". Ella made it down the aisle unaccompanied, but she was none too happy about it!

Many of the kids who followed were holding their parents' hands and/or crying. Between the crying, the parents encouraging/cheering, and the teachers playing tambourines, the actual music is nearly inaudible on the video we took!

Afterwards, with the "performance pressure" off, she relaxed and had a good time. This photo

completely reminds me of our time in China, 10 months ago to the day:

Now that we're letting her bangs grow out again, she looks more like she did when we met her. Maggie has noticed too, commenting "She looks like Rongwan with her hair like that!"

On Saturday the 19th, for our monthly FCC playgroup, we hosted a "teddy bear tea" at our house. Let's just say it was not the vision I'd had of prim and proper little princesses sitting politely and practicing their tea party etiquette! But it was really quite fun, and the parents actually got to chat rather than chasing their kids all over the playground like our usual playgroup meetings.

In addition to drinking raspberry herbal tea,

hot cocoa,

and eating treats,

the girls also did some crafts

and played upstairs.

The teddy bears were mostly neglected, but they seemed to form some friendships of their own. Overall, it was a fun way to spend a Saturday.

We finally got the tree decorated the following day.

Ella seemed to catch on pretty quickly to the concept of hanging ornaments, but was happy to have Uncle Craig's help on the execution.

And, as a special early Christmas treat, the girls got to open their presents from Uncle Craig, who will be spending Christmas overseas.

They loved their EZ Steppers (remarkably similar to Romper Stompers, one of my favorite childhood toys) and have been clomping around in them ever since!

Ella's balance and coordination are already improving as a result of practicing on them.

Tomorrow we plan to bake cookies and make lasagna. Hopefully we'll get in a visit to the park as well - the weather was cold, crisp and sunny today, and I'm hoping it keeps up through Christmas Day.

It has been so nice to receive everyone's holiday cards and see the beautiful family photos. We are grateful for the wonderful "extended family" with which our China adoptions have blessed us. Sending love and "Happy Christmas" wishes out to our far-away family and friends; although we're not together, we'll be celebrating with you in our hearts.

photos from Ella's California re-adoption hearing & princess party

2009-12-16T20:58:00.000-08:00

It was super cold last Wednesday, when we went to the Marin County Civic Center for Ella's California re-adoption hearing.

The spire of the Frank Lloyd Wright-designed Civic Center doubles as a chimney, and in the early, frosty morning we thought it looked lovely.

The hearing itself was brief and very pleasant; the judge said she was happy to start her day with such a nice assignment.

It may take up to a year to receive Ella's California delayed registration of birth certificate!

On Sunday, we had Ella's birthday party. Illness forced a couple of last-minute cancellations, but we had a great time with the smaller number of girls.

There were five girls between 5.5 and 6 years old (Hetti, Lena, Marina, Natalie, and Maggie), and 3 girls close to Ella's age (Lilah, Naomi, and Ella). I felt a little badly not inviting girls from Ella's preschools, but at this stage it made sense to invite people we'd ALL enjoy hanging out with. It was especially nice to see Natalie and Naomi and their dad; Natalie's and Maggie's birthdays are 4 days apart, and they are almost exactly the same height and weight. They have shared many developmental milestones over the years, and from what their dad tells me, they are still pretty similar personalities also! I miss Dana regularly, and can still hear her voice telling stories of Natalie's escapades. The girls and their dad seem to be doing well in spite of their tremendous loss. Courageous beyond measure. Naomi is such a big girl - it's hard to believe she is 4 months younger than Ella!! And what a snuggle bug: she captured Edward's heart!

"Princess Belle" was our special guest, and the girls seemed to enjoy singing, dancing and playing games with her.

Ella enjoyed her miniature cupcakes, and definitely has the hang of blowing out the candles now!

After the party, some of the girls came over to the house to play. It was actually not as crazy as you might expect having 6 girls in one small house to be! They did get a little rowdy, and Ella bumped her head at least once (definitely not out of the ordinary for her!) but overall it was really fun.

Someone's been reading too many princess stories...

2009-12-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

Maggie, in bed the other night: "I am afraid a monster will come".
Mommy: "Monsters are just pretend, sweetie."
"What if a bad man comes?"
"Well, to get upstairs to your room, he will have to go through the downstairs, and that means he will have to get past Baba and me first. We will keep you safe."
Maggie: "Do you have a sword?"

It really feels like winter!!

2009-12-09T20:54:00.000-08:00

With a low temperature of 28*F predicted for this evening in San Rafael, it really feels like winter now. I wish we had the Christmas lights on the house. There was even snow here on Monday:

which is unexpected, because we had a sunny rainshower on Sunday which gave us this rainbow:

But for the past three days it has been clear and sunny but really cold - I love it like this! Guess I am still an East-coaster at heart. (In fact, when I put in my preferences at Find Your Spot, it picked Burlington, Vermont as my ideal home!)

Ella is 3 today!

2009-12-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

We gave her her card and present first thing this morning.

She had a great day at Chinese school, where they ate the blueberry mini-muffins we'd baked last night and made a big "happy birthday" banner for her.

But while Ella was happily saying "Ella birthday today!!", Maggie was having a hard time adjusting to the idea that she was not the center of attention this evening.

Her sad tears reminded me of the day we first met Ella - Maggie played wonderfully with Ella all day long, but in the evening, when it came time to get ready for bed, Maggie cried because she no longer had me & Baba all to herself.

Ella was happy with her pizza,

but Maggie could hardly eat at first.

She perked up after her pizza, when it was time for cake. ("Perked up" is an understatement - she bounced from the depths of sorrow right into mania.) I imagine that we'll see a little bit more of this behavior at Christmas: a little bit of jealousy & anger, a lot of sadness, and some excitement thrown in just to keep it interesting.

Ella doesn't get the whole "make a wish" idea yet, but she did know to blow out the candles.

We gave her a HUGE slice of cake, knowing she would eat just a few bites, after which she said "I don't like it. Can I have some yogurt, please?" She really doesn't have much of a sweet tooth (which is surprising given that she came to us with a bag of candy when we met her!).

A year ago today, we were so sad to have missed her 2nd birthday. When we applied to adopt her in August and received "pre-authorization" on September 2, I had hoped we would actually meet her on her birthday, which fell on a Monday. (It would have been perfect, since we had met Maggie on her 1st birthday: Monday, May 9, 2005.) But our projected four month wait to travel turned to six months, and it wasn't until February that Ella joined our family. But, that just gives us another family holiday to celebrate!

We did send a cake and some gifts to her in the orphanage last year, and they were kind enough to take some photos for us, so at least we have those for her lifebook.

I do believe she looks happier now!

My new favorite blog

2009-12-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

Free Range Kids

I love her take on life. Especially as I am on my 3rd cold/sinus infection in the last 3 months, and neither of my kids has been sick at all. Being raised in a dirty orphanage does wonders for the immune system!! (Ever wonder why you never hear of a kid dying from a peanut allergy in, say, Thailand? Are there ANY food allergies in developing countries? Likely not. Because when the immune system actually has a job to do, fighting off parasites and bacteria, it doesn't go all crazy over random proteins in food! A little dirt is GOOD for you. Really.)

Which brings me to wonder, what on earth are we doing to our kids here in the US? I just read this article and it really hit home. It made me laugh, because just a few weeks ago when I saw an ad for piano lessons and vocal coaching for children, I thought "Hmmm, Maggie loves to sing. I wonder if I should sign her up for vocal lessons?" Criminy, she's 5!! (Similar to the boy in the above-mentioned article whose dad wants to enroll him in art.) What is the deal with every kid having to excel at every sport/musical instrument/insert extracurricular activity of your choice here? Why can't they just goof off, playing basketball in the driveway with their friends, having fun??

On the one hand, we think "Being good at something gives a child self-confidence, and self-confidence leads to a successful life".

On the other hand, how many things do they have to be expert at? Why do so many 5-year-olds participate in more activities after kindergarten than I did in high school? And does being an awesome tennis player/cellist/etc. really help him, if he doesn't know how to do a load of laundry or cook a meal?

I was shocked listening to a couple of 4th year veterinary students talking about how they eat out every night. They laughed and thought I was silly for asking them why they just didn't get a couple of easy cookbooks and learn to cook some simple meals. Further discussion revealed that they have a housecleaner, and either bring their laundry home to mom or have it done at a dry cleaner's. (No wonder all the students are complaining about the tuition hikes - it will cut into their "service, please!" lifestyle!)

Ever watch the show "The World's Strictest Parents"? Almost all of the "troubled teens" on the show are mortified when their new "parents" ask them to do household chores. Both our girls put their own dirty clothes in the hamper, both of them enjoy setting the table for dinner, and their favorite after school activity is to "help" make dinner (they are really good at ripping up lettuce and spinach for salads!). Why aren't the kids on that TV show, or the 25-year-old vet students, for that matter, learning to take care of themselves and their own belongings? I think all the extracurricular activities are taking the place of learning basic life skills.

Oh my goodness, I sound like an old lady..."Kids today...blah blah blah". Ha ha ha!

Giving thanks

2009-11-27T23:58:00.000-08:00

We are so thankful for all of the good things in our lives: our home, our friends, and most of all, our family. We are also happy to live in a climate which allows our girls to play, bare-footed, at the park in late November:

We are grateful that our three kitties continue to bless us with their purring, smiling faces, despite the chaos which has supplanted their formerly quiet, uneventful lives.

I had an "a-ha!" moment yesterday, which afterwards made me say "Duh!". I have been wondering why some days I find it so easy to be a good mom - kind, loving, infinitely patient, using all the great tools I've learned about from the plethora of parenting books on my nightstand - and other days I've got a fuse shorter than a grenade with a 3-second delay. Yesterday morning I noticed Sphinx, our 15.5-year-old female feline, was especially irritable with Kiefer (who, at 8, is the youngest of our 3 cats). I immediately went to the refrigerator to get her meloxicam (a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory, which she takes for arthritis.) That's when it hit me: Pain makes us cranky! Pain makes things which we ordinarily would tolerate, even possibly enjoy, intolerable. (See, normally, Sphinx and Kiefer are like this together:

but a couple of months ago, I heard Sphinx uncharacteristically yelling & hissing at Kiefer for trying his usual "let's turn this snuggle-fest into a wrestling match!" moves. I observed her closely for a few minutes, and discovered that she was limping. By the next day she was non-weight-bearing on her right front leg, and I took her in for some x-rays, etc. Other than arthritis, she was deemed ok. So we tried the meloxicam, and she was walking normally - and no longer hissing - within a day.)

So, yesterday, as I got Sphinx's medicine, it became obvious to me at that moment that pain is one of the reasons I have days with no patience. I like to forget that I have fibromyalgia, and generally do not let it get in the way of my daily activities. But a couple of challenging surgeries at work, a night of insufficient sleep, or bending over awkwardly to give the girls a bath can screw up my whole week. I've had days where even getting my teeth polished at the dentist made me cry! So, not to use it as an excuse for yelling at my kids, but basically, now I know to check in with my body from time to time if I'm finding myself on the cranky side, and when indicated, head for the medicine cabinet and get some naproxen (or ibuprofen, or whatever NSAID we happen to have handy)! Also, I've noticed that I feel better when I run almost every day (which makes sense, given the endorphins released after running). But when I'm tired and sore, I get lazy and don't want to run, which basically starts a downward spiral! (Such is the curse of many people with this enigmatic disorder.)

So, after that little revelation yesterday at breakfast, I took some naproxen (aka Aleve) and went out for a short run. And ended up having a relatively nice day with the girls. (My poor brother, however, was going batty by the end of the day, when we were Skype-ing relatives and the girls were running around like banshees.)

Ella's first Thanksgiving was a small affair, as it was prohibitively expensive for us to travel this year. She had just woken up from her nap when we sat down to eat, so she wasn't her usually smiley self for our family photo.

I couldn't resist taking another photo of her in her "no paparazzi, please!" mood, much to her dismay:

However, once we settled down to eat, she seemed to enjoy most of the food, with the fake-turkey pot pie being her favorite. She also liked the cranberry sauce!

After dinner the girls ran around like the afore-mentioned banshees, albeit in the guise of ballerinas:

We did get them to settle down long enough to take a photo with Uncle Craig:

but that was before we had 4 Skype conversations in one day (the most since we were in China last February)! Given that we couldn't be with family today, we were glad to be able to at least video chat with them. It was also especially nice to catch up with David, Chiara and Sofia in Singapore.

This morning the girls continued their ballerina escapades - Maggie surprised us by dressing Ella in hot pink tights and one of her dress-up trunk tutus.

We had a low-key day at home, not daring to venture out due to the feeding frenzy which the day after Thanksgiving has become. We got some things organized, did some on-line shopping, and designed our holiday cards. Maggie did some Rosetta Stone Mandarin on the computer, after which she was rewarded with an hour playing with her Webkinz kitty.

On Wednesday I had been thinking to myself (and had even said out loud to our neighbor, a stay-at-home dad with 2 daughters under age 3), "How am I going to get through 5 days with no school??" but it sure was nice to realize, after putting the kids to bed tonight, that it is only Friday! It feels like a Sunday. I am so looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow (especially now that I've just realized it's midnight and I'm still writing)!

I think I've been feeding the wrong wolf lately...

2009-11-14T20:07:00.000-08:00

A story about Two Wolves:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied,

'The one you feed.'

Some photos from the past couple of weeks

2009-11-07T14:56:00.000-08:00

Maggie smiling on the soccer field (Saturday, October 24):

Moon Festival performance at Language In Action (Wednesday, October 28):

Kindergarten Halloween party (Friday, October 30):

Preschool Halloween party (Friday, October 30):

Halloween Day (Saturday, October 31):

Healdsburg Wine Country Half Marathon:

Pumpkin carving:

Ready for trick-or-treating (Ella's first time!):

Crying when we told her "no more candy tonight -it's time to get ready for bed!":

Now it's 3 bloody faces in 24 hours (and I THINK they're still in 1 piece!)

2009-11-05T21:16:00.000-08:00

Oh my! I flew to San Diego last night for a veterinary conference. Edward and the girls drove me to the airport to see me off. We had a nice dinner at the Olive Garden in SF on our way down, and traffic cooperated, so it was a relatively painless experience. However, Edward has not had it so easy since returning home with the girls! While getting ready for bed, Maggie bonked her face, hitting her loose lower tooth, which was followed by bleeding and crying. No big deal and quickly resolved. However, Edward was awakened by more crying from Maggie when she had a middle-of-the-night nosebleed. Still not THAT big of a deal and I'm sure he took it in stride. However, this morning, after driving Maggie to school in Peacock Gap, Ella to school in SF, and driving back to Larkspur to work, his receptionist interrupted a patient exam to tell him that Ella's school is on the phone and she's had an accident at the park, so he needs to come get her and take her to the hospital. !! She apparently fell on the stairs and cut her cheek. Lots of blood, smeared all over her face, exacerbated by her unruly bangs (which we are trying to let grow out). So, off to the ER she goes with Baba. Luckily, a skull x-ray reveals no serious injury, and butterfly tape is sufficient to close the wound so she doesn't need sutures. And she's been a trouper about the whole thing, from what I've heard. But poor Edward - this is only day 1 of my 3-day absence! Let's hope this trifecta of bloody faces is the worst thing that happens while I'm away.

3 parties in 24 hours and we're still in 1 piece

2009-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

What a crazy weekend! Thursday night we got a last-minute invitation to a Saturday slumber party for one of Maggie's classmates. She's been behaving relatively well lately, so we decided to let her go. On Saturday, after soccer practice & lunch, I dropped her off at Reisa's costume birthday party.

Two hours later I picked her up, newly decorated

and with the most remarkable balloon creature I'd ever seen:

She changed clothes in the car on her way to Sophia's house, which is just a few minutes away from Reisa's. After arriving and hearing the rules from Sophia's dad, Maggie happily paraded down the stairs with the other girls (that's the birthday girl there in the front):

They had lots of great activities planned, including a treasure hunt (sure to be a fun challenge on the family's 1-acre property).

Ella enjoyed having Baba and me all to herself that evening, although the house was strangely quiet without our little chatterbox. Somewhat surprisingly, we did not receive a call saying "Come get your kid!", and at 9:15am on Sunday morning, everyone was all smiles when I arrived to pick her up. She did a quick change back into her costume at home, and then we were off to set up for the 4th annual MarinChinaFamilies Halloween party.

We had 2 Mulans in attendance this year

and 2 Ariels (that's the official Disney costume on Kristi, on the left)

but the best costumes by far were Hetti & Lena as Thing 1 and Thing 2:

Maybe it's because now I have to keep track of 2 kids, but the party seemed to go by so quickly this year!

Even though we had many of the same activities as in previous years, the girls (and boy!) seemed to have a good time.

Here are my 2 favorite photos of my girls from this year's party:

Here are some "Then & Now" photos:

Cookie/cupcake decorating
2009:

2008:

2007:

2006:

Maggie, Hetti & Lena snacking:
2008:

2007:

2006:

Group photo
2009:

2008:

2007:

2006:

Wow - it's amazing how tiny they all looked back in 2006!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays - I was supposed to go to a conference starting this Thursday and extending through the weekend, but decided it wasn't worth missing Ella's first Halloween, especially since this year I'm neither presenting nor a member of any committees with mandatory attendance.

Hopefully she'll enjoy trick-or-treating and won't be scared by the neighbors' ghoulish decorations!

600 miles (and counting!)

2009-10-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

As of this evening, I have run 600.0 miles so far this year. I know that's nothing compared to some of you, but it's more than I've ever done before so I'm happy with it. :-) The decreasing daylight makes it more challenging as autumn progresses - I loved seeing tons of wildlife on my dawn or dusk runs (quail, wild turkeys, falcons, deer, even a coyote) but lately I've been running after dark. My only near-dusk run last week resulted in a snake bite! I took a shortcut across a small field next to a creek; it was not quite dark, but not light enough for me to see really well. I felt something fly up and hit me on the leg, and thought it was just a branch that had "fwapped" me. But the next morning I woke up and had these tiny little teeth marks on my leg!

I hadn't seen it, of course, but based on the location where I was running, I thought it was likely a coast garter snake. However, the other day on my 12-mile run out Lucas Valley Road toward Nicasio I saw a baby kingsnake. (Sadly, it was dead on the side of the road.) I did not know they could live in riparian environments as well. So, it's possible that's what it was, since kingsnakes are more likely to bite than garter snakes are. Either way, I am unharmed and my love of snakes is undiminished. I just hope I didn't hurt the little guy. And now I am running with a flashlight so I don't step on any creatures!

More irritating than the (presumptive) snake bite are these buggers:

which are embedding themselves in our shoes by the dozens. We first found them because they come out in our carpet and stab our bare feet! Now we know to check the soles of our shoes before coming in the house.

In more interesting news, the past week and a half has seen a bunch of activities. I love autumn! We've had some nice, chilly, "sweater weather" lately. We hiked up to the Marin Headlands to watch the Blue Angels on the 10th, but the show was canceled due to fog.

We did catch a glimpse of them as they flew towards the city from the North:

but that was all we saw. We enjoyed the hike and ridge-top picnic anyway, and Ella did great on her first trip in the backpack.

The next day we went to the Tolay Fall Festival in Petaluma, where the girls tried to find Baba in the hay maze

said hello to some llamas, goats and donkeys

played on a big red tractor

made candles, and cornhusk dolls with wool hair

and let me take silly photos.

We weren't ready to get a pumpkin, but took the hay ride out to the pumpkin patch there anyway. The countryside is so beautiful up there. I am always amazed that we live 20 minutes from San Francisco and yet there are dairy cows grazing just a few minutes north of us. I am envious of my colleagues who will be retiring to their 100-acre farm up in Petaluma, where they have horses and cattle and a big, red barn set amongst the rolling hills.

I stayed home from work on Tuesday due to a big rainstorm (and we only had 2 patients to reschedule so it was easy to do so!), but other than that the week was uneventful until Friday night, when Edward surprised me with a trip to Oakland to see Snow Patrol, who are from Dundee, Scotland - where NaiNai grew up!

It was a great show! I wish Maggie could have come; she knows all of their songs and can sing most of them line for line.

But the girls got their own special surprise on Saturday, when we went to see Disney On Ice. I let them wear their Halloween costumes, which just happen to be Disney-themed this year and which I had kept hidden since Meme mailed them earlier in the month.

We met up with Hetti and Lena there, and they all looked super cute together:

It's quite possible that I enjoyed the show more than Ella, who was overdue for a nap and looked bored during the first half

but she did seem interested in the second half, which focused on Cinderella and was easier to follow. I'm sure if Pocahontas had been part of the show she would have LOVED it!

Sunday was a quiet day, as Edward ran 20 miles after I finished my 12, and we all needed a nap in the afternoon! We all seem to be getting a little cold, which hopefully will pass by this weekend's Halloween party.

Back to the kids...

2009-10-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

An update on Ella: she has really started coming into her own. She is expressing herself better ("I like pizza!", "I need toilet paper." "Kiefer, get down. Right now.") and has started requesting specific clothes and lullaby selections ("No! Watermelon PJs, not flowers." "Princess song please! Popohontas!"). The first time she said "I did it!" (just a few weeks ago) was really cute. Speaking is, however, a much bigger effort for her than it ever was for Maggie. Most of her sentences are slow and deliberate, as if there is a period between each word. "Wait. For. Me." "Fun. Day. School. Play. Outside!" "I. Like. That. Music." "No. Want. It." "Do it. Self. Please." "Go. Park. Mama?" and she has difficulty with longer strings of words, such as "I would like to..." Right now her favorite phrase is "Because...sometimes..." and she will start many sentences this way. Yesterday when I picked her up from Chinese school I, as always, asked if she had a good day. She answered with an emphatic "Yes! Stories!" and followed up with "Because. Sometimes. Teacher Pei Pei. Stories." So she is still missing big chunks of sentence structure, but the speech therapist (who determined that Ella does not need speech therapy) said that she is simply learning language a different way than Maggie did. Maggie learned the structure of sentences and paragraphs before she had the vocabulary, so she would tell long, elaborate stories with only a few recognizable words but lots of energetic and expressive babbling. We're told that Ella has learned the opposite way, with words as building blocks, and will only build the sentence structure once she is 100% comfortable with the words that go in the sentences. I am really glad the speech therapist told us that, or it would be easy to think that Ella is a very slow learner! I mean, it took her a few weeks of me repeating "It is Wait FOR me, not Wait me" before she finally started saying "Wait. For. Me." and it still seems like so much effort for her to say even that tiny string of words. But, I think she will eventually catch up. It's just so hard to watch! Luckily, what she lacks in eloquence she makes up for in enthusiasm.

Bath time is always fun for her, especially if there are bubbles involved

and she was thrilled when we bought a huge bag of Kettle Korn at the Farmers' Market last Sunday.

One of her favorite games is to play "catch me!" at the park.

And, in the past week she has learned how to pedal (and steer!) a tricycle.

As for her big sister (who still enjoys baths as much as she ever has),

Maggie has been enjoying soccer, and had the ball quite a bit at last Saturday's practice.

She is also really proud of being able to get all the way across the monkey bars at school! (We're working on that upper body strength, core strength, and coordination despite not making it to official OT sessions.)

Both girls helped Hetti and Lena celebrate their 6th birthday with a windy picnic on Crissy Field last Saturday,

and that evening we enjoyed an even windier Autumn Moon Festival cruise on the Angel Island ferry.

But the biggest event in recent days was Maggie's loss of her first baby tooth, on Monday night just before bed. It's been loose for a couple of weeks, and we were happy that it was still present for her first official school photo (taken last Friday), but it was really loose when we brushed/flossed on Monday night.

It was pretty traumatic after the actual removal (assisted by Mommy) - she screamed like a banshee a couple of times when she saw the blood -

but within minutes she was ready for bed, happily anticipating the tooth fairy's first visit.

The tooth fairy was very clever to bring her Chinese coins in addition to a silver US dollar, so that if one of her classmates brags about getting $10 for their lost tooth, Maggie won't necessarily know that her money doesn't add up to more than $2 US. (Apparently Maggie and Marina were the first in their classes to lose a tooth, so we haven't heard of any overly generous tooth fairy offerings yet, but I'm sure they're coming.) Here she is, proudly showing off her loot the following morning:

That night we had a picnic in the family room to celebrate this milestone

and the girls read some stories together before bed.

It has been really fun to watch their relationship evolve, and Maggie definitely enjoys the big sister role. She doesn't display much jealousy anymore; it helps that we make sure she gets plenty of one-on-one time with me, especially now that I don't get to drive her to school in the city. We went to see "Toy Story" in 3-D together on Monday (school was out due to parent-teacher conferences) and we usually get a few moments alone each morning before Ella gets up. Our nightly "lullabies" have gone from me singing actual lullabies, which she let me do until she was about 3, I think, to singing "Ordinary World" and "Love's Divine", then last year it was "Love Story" and "Cowgirls Don't Cry", and for the past several months it's been Disney princess songs. It started with Ariel's "Part of Your World" (one of my favorites, and luckily in my vocal range, though I can't hold a candle to Jodi Benson), and lately we've been singing "Belle" together. I was sad when she first stopped letting me sing to her, but I dread the day when she no longer wants to sing WITH me at bedtime, either.

Dierks Bentley live (September 27, 2009)

2009-10-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

Wow - what luck to see Dierks Bentley headlining a show at Konocti! For the past couple of months he has been the middle act between Jimmy Wayne and Brad Paisley, but I guess Brad Paisley backed out of the show at Konocti but Jimmy Wayne and Dierks Bentley decided to do it anyway. So, we got to see an amazing show by Dierks! Edward and I couldn't help but smirk at Jimmy Wayne - who is an excellent singer but a little overdramatic as a performer. Still, we enjoyed it. But Dierks put on a REALLY great show. He opened with Lot of Leavin' Left to Do, then played Feel That Fire.

I lose track of the order after that, but he also played Life on the Run, Trying to Stop Your Leaving, Settle for a Slowdown, How Am I Doin', So, So Long, Come a Little Closer, Sweet & Wild (!!), Every Mile a Memory,

What Was I Thinkin’, Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go), My Last Name, and I Wish It Would Break. The last 2 were acoustic, and really nice.

The encore consisted of Sideways, I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes (which had every female member of the audience swooning!), and a great cover of Folsom Prison Blues.

I recorded a few seconds of "Sideways" to play for Ella, since that is one of the first songs she learned ("Hey, now, here we go! DJ!" is the part she sings).

It was definitely worth the drive (which took us only 2 hours this time, unlike last week!). Heck, if he was headlining anywhere else in California it would be worth the drive!

Ok, how's this for irony: two days after I'd told a friend that Maggie was doing great in kindergarten, and the very day after we watched Dierks sing about hitting a bully for making fun of his name, Maggie got sent to the principal's office for elbowing a classmate who made fun of her last name. Ugh. :-/ Oh, well, worse things have happened (and will probably happen in the future!).

Loving the iMac!

2009-09-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

After 8 years and a couple of upgrades, I finally realized that my computer was pretty useless (i.e., multitasking was impossible and even just checking e-mails had become a time-sucking ordeal!) a few weeks ago. Fed up with Windows, we decided to convert to Macs. Since Edward's computer was old, too, and we network with each other, we knew we'd have to make the investment in 2 computers. Amazon had iMacs for a good price and free shipping (and no sales tax!) so it wasn't as painful as we'd prepared for. The conversion was cumbersome, as we decided to virtualize my old PC on the new Mac in order to keep running Microsoft Office, FrontPage, Money and Adobe Photoshop, as well as a few other programs frequently in use. It helps immensely that we have a family member in the IT business! So Jason came out over Labor Day weekend for a visit and helped us set up, and load all the information from my 4 hard drives (2 internal, 2 external!) into the new iMac. I am still getting used to everything, but so far I am really happy with it. Not having to wait for shut down and start up is wonderful; now I find myself getting impatient with my Vaio laptop even just waiting for it to hibernate!

Anyway, also on Labor Day weekend, I took the girls to Gilroy Gardens, where we met up with two of my good friends from veterinary school and their families. We had a great day. Here are some of the photos:

That evening, Craig joined us for dinner and the girls enjoyed time with both of their Uncles!

Maggie ran a DSE kids' race on Sunday morning

and the rest of the day was low-key: we worked on computer stuff while the girls played house under the computer boxes

On Labor Day itself, the girls said goodbye to Uncle Jason as he headed back to Indiana

and later that afternoon had a good time at our neighborhood picnic. The week after that, of course, was our trip to Alabama. Upon her return to school, Maggie got to paint the sun. Guess which one is hers?

Yep, the sun with the smiley face. It's good to know our girl is happy these days!

Maggie is really getting into the morning gatherings,

and is loving kindergarten.

The weeks are just flying by: it's hard to believe September is almost over already. Maggie has started weekly soccer classes, and last Saturday we had an FCC playgroup at the same park. It seems like forever since we'd seen JJ - she has gotten so tall! She and Lena did a great job helping Ella on the big kids' structures

while Hetti and Maggie played house. (Right before I took this photo, they announced that they had just given birth to their new baby!)

Last Friday Edward and I drove 3 hours (ugh!! I was expecting it to be 2!) to see Gary Allan. The drive was atrocious but the show was terrific.

We'll be heading back up there tomorrow (by a different route) to see Dierks Bentley, which I'm hoping will be really good. He was fantastic at Stagecoach last year, which is really the first time I'd ever heard more than one or two of his songs. Since then I've gotten all of his CDs, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow's show.

Earlier this week the girls got surprise presents from YeYe & NaiNai:

They both love their new books; the nursery rhyme book with built-in puppets was especially popular!

Today was a Kids' Carnival to raise money for the city schools. Maggie got to ride a pony, which made her day.

She also "scored" in this football carnival game

and got to eat sno-cones with her friend Michaela.

Unfortunately, the combination of the 90* heat (no clouds, no breeze) and lack of vegetarian food options (and the crackers and apples I'd brought were less-than-ideal for lunch!) made us all a little cranky by the time we left the carnival, and meltdowns ensued at home later. Hopefully a good nights' sleep will help us all!

It feels like a hundred years ago that I was at Miraval...

2009-09-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe it's been just over a month. Edward had his reward for letting me go away to Miraval when I took the girls to Alabama last weekend. Four days of lolling around not having to do anything; sounds like paradise! The girls and I had a great time in Alabama, also. After a red-eye flight through Atlanta, we arrived in Huntsville at 8am on Friday. The drive to Scottsboro was quick, easy and beautiful. It was shocking to see the damage from the tornado, though, and it made me realize just how lucky Nana PoPo and Papa GongGong were to have escaped serious harm. We laid low for most of the day on Friday, although we did get out of the house and went downtown. On Saturday we went out in the boat. The tornado damage was especially dramatic from the water:

You can actually see their house from the water now (small black arrow below), due to the number of trees lost during the storm. The waterfront property in front of their house (big brown patch in the photo below) is now vacant, the previous house having been demolished after the storm.

Maggie wasn't sure what to think of the boat at first, but she ended up loving it:

Ella did ok, too.

She is quite a trooper sometimes!

A little later we went to Grant Park, although the heat and humidity made our stay pretty brief.

The pool felt refreshing after the park, but Ella was not happy about the cold water and preferred to spend her time in the little inflatable boat.

Sunday was fabulous: we went up to Tennessee (and Georgia, too, though we didn't know we'd crossed the state line until afterwards!) to Lookout Mountain. We rode the Incline Railway,

'

explored almost every inch of Rock City Gardens,

and ventured into the heart of the mountain to see Ruby Falls.

In all, the girls probably walked almost 3 miles that day, and never once asked to be picked up. We rewarded them with pink rock candy from the Ruby Falls gift shop:

It was a fantastic day! (Until later, when Maggie had a meltdown at dinner time, but all in all, we did have a really great day.)

We left mid-morning on Monday, and the girls both did really well on the flight home. I was unsuccessful in my attempt to load Pocahontas onto my iTouch, but Maggie listened to some music

and watched some TV (luckily we were on a plane with individual TVs at each seat!).

Ella, surprisingly, took a nap (she is not a great sleeper on planes; in fact, on the flight out, I had to lay her on the floor at my feet so she could get some rest. She doesn't do well all curled up!) but was sad after she woke up and said "All finished airplane", only to be told that we had to stay in the plane for another 2 hours or so!

Both girls were excited to see Baba at the airport:

.

Maggie must have gotten used to sharing a bed with Mommy (we'd shared a full-sized futon in Alabama, while Ella slept in a little twin bed), because after we'd put her to bed in her bedroom, we came upstairs to find her asleep in our bed:

.

Well, there's lots more to write about (our trip to Gilroy Gardens on Labor Day weekend, Uncle Jason's visit, last night's Gary Allan concert, today's playgroup) but it's after 10pm, we were up til almost 2 this morning, and I'll be up before 6am tomorrow to run, so off to bed I go! (Photos are all up on flickr, though, if anyone wants a sneak peek.)

Another goodbye too soon

2009-09-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ashby Hart died on Thursday, September 3, 2009 from injuries sustained in a car accident. He was 29 years old.

When I first met Ashby, I didn't know what to think of him. He didn't seem to take anything too seriously, and the veterinary field seemed like a strange choice for someone whose other profession involved jumping out of airplanes. But I quickly realized two things about Ashby: 1) He was very interested in learning, and becoming better at what he did. 2) Whenever we needed help, he was always ready to jump in and lend a hand. As the years went on, I learned that, underneath the tough-guy, ladies' man, adrenaline-junkie persona was a kind and caring soul with a tender heart. Whenever I brought my girls in, he wouldn't hesitate to engage them, and even let Ella pretend to extract a tooth from one of his patients a couple of weeks ago. But the thing I will miss most about Ashby is that, whenever he had a friendly Frenchie, cute kitten, or pug puppy, he would carry it back to the Dental Operatory for us to see, a big grin on his face as we "oohed" and "aahed" at whatever adorable creature he was holding. I will miss him every day.

Doing great so far!

2009-08-28T22:13:00.001-07:00

Well, we made it through our first 3 days of kindergarten. Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised when another parent, who was volunteering in the classroom that morning, told me that Maggie was chosen to place a sticker on the calendar that day. When I asked Maggie how she was selected, she showed me how she sat quietly, cross-legged. My jaw was almost on the floor, trying to imagine Maggie as the quietest, most well-behaved child in the room! I told her how proud I was of her, and she said "That's because my big girl brain is all alone now!" (a reference to her "big girl brain" and her "2-year-old brain", which have battled for dominance continually for oh, about the past 2 and a half years!).

While I don't think that's entirely true (because all of us have a little bit of that 2-year-old inside who rears his or her ugly head once in a while!), it sure is nice to know that she's feeling more in control these days.

Maggie's first day of Kindergarten

2009-08-26T23:09:00.001-07:00

...went really well! Here she is before we left:

After checking her into her classroom and meeting Mrs. Gray, we watched them file outside for morning assembly. The new principal is very enthusiastic and seems great. He led the kids in the pledge of allegiance, followed by morning stretch.

Apparently they will do this every day before class!

When she came home from school, Maggie said she really liked school and that she thought Mrs. Gray was "beautiful". Sounds like she's off to a good start!

I let her listen to my iPod for a while (Baba was nice enough to transfer her new Disney Princess CD to iTunes and load it onto the iPod) after school. I can't help but picture her at 13, in a similar pose (though I'm sure the technology will be different by then!).

It's amazing how quickly time flies by. I'm trying to enjoy every moment of it while I can.

"Awww" moment of the month

2009-08-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

Maggie, saying goodnight 5 minutes ago: "I love you, too. You're the best Mommy in the whole world. And China. And Massachusetts. And every place. Even other planets!"

Magical!

2009-08-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

Lots of magic in the air this month.

To celebrate my 40th birthday, I spent a wonderful weekend at Miraval Resort and Spa in Tucson with my Mom and my friend of 30 years, Rose.

We had lots of great "girl time" together, marveled at the spectacular surroundings, and enjoyed complete and total relaxation (in addition to amazing food and cocktails!).

Memories of August 14, 2008: After having spent a couple of days visiting family in Falkirk, we arrived on the Isle of Skye in the late afternoon (via a taxi, two trains, a ferry and a bus!).

View from the train to Mallaig

Maggie and I outside the Royal Hotel in Portree, 6:20pm (Scotland time) on August 14, 2008. Little did we know that, an hour later, our lives would change forever!

After we checked into our hotel and had a bite to eat, I checked e-mail using the hotel's wi-fi (which only worked in the lobby and seemed exceptionally slow!). I was excited to see two e-mails from our agency's China facilitator, both dated August 13, 2008. The first, sent at 6:39pm, was just one sentence: "Please let me know if you have access to the internet." I had butterflies in my stomach as I opened the second one, sent at 7:12pm: "Dear Milinda, I have locked this beautiful child's file for you. Please let me know if you want to move forward with her adoption." We opened the attachments and saw Ella's face for the first time.

We were immediately smitten. About a half-hour later, at 8pm Scotland time (noon in CA), we e-mailed the facilitator a bunch of questions and our phone number in Scotland. Forty-five minutes later, we received a phone call in our room. I was so excited as our facilitator answered our questions and gave us some additional information.

There followed a flurry of activity as we called and e-mailed a pediatrician and a pediatric cardiologist, asking them to review her medical information for us. Four hours later, we e-mailed an affirmative response asking what the next steps were, and the next day we submitted our Letter of Intent. (We couldn't write about this at the time, because only a very few individuals knew we were even waiting for a referral! So it's fun to relive it all now...)

In addition to celebrating the one-year anniversary of our referral on August 14, August 16 marks six months since we met Ella! It's hard to believe: in some ways it feels like just a few weeks ago that we were in China, and in other ways it seems like a lifetime. It has been quite challenging at times, and I have to admit to having cried in the bathroom on a handful of occasions, but we are now starting to settle in as a family of 4.

The past few weeks, especially, have seen quite a big change in Maggie's behavior. She has matured a lot this summer, and is really starting to relish her Big Sister role now. Here she is teaching Ella her ABCs yesterday:

With soccer camp, art camp and Chinese school, we decided not to try to cram occupational therapy into our schedule this summer, but we have been working with her at home and at the playground on her core body strength. She has also been allowed to chew gum (reportedly a calming activity) almost daily. Not sure how much either of those has contributed to her progression vs. normal maturation processes, but we are happy with the change nonetheless.

She ran a half-mile kids' race on Sunday. Watching her in the race and playing on Crissy Field, I was struck by how long and lean she's become. No trace of baby fat!

She starts kindergarten a week from today. I hope she continues to move in the right direction; it's been wonderful to see our super-sweet girl return (after a nearly 2-year absence)!

This time last year...

2009-08-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Maggie's hair was short,

Edward ran his first half-marathon, and we were just getting ready to submit our dossier to China

before leaving for Scotland!

It's hard to believe that it was just a year ago. I still remember how excited we were to receive our referral just after arriving on the Isle of Skye. What an amazing time.

Yesterday we had a little party at Weber Point in China Camp State Park, to celebrate my 40th birthday (a couple of days from now) and our 6-month anniversary with Ella (which is actually on the 16th). It was nice to see some of my veterinary friends in addition to our favorite China families. Despite not having any specific activities for the kids, they seemed to have a good time climbing trees and exploring. Somehow we managed to get a photo with most of the kids together!

We've never had a party at China Camp State Park in August before; we've only ever done it for Maggie's birthday, in early May. The weather was gorgeous (although a bit windy, as you can tell by my hair in the photo below!). One surprising difference: there were dozens of yellow jackets around, and they were EXTREMELY interested in the turkey and ham and roast beef on the deli platter! Luckily no one got stung, but next time I might forgo the meat on the platter and just have cheese and veggies! Another unexpected visitor was a baby rat in the garbage can; he was really cute. I tried to get a photo of him, but he was hiding and I didn't want to scare him. I'm sure he had a feast on our leftovers, particularly the cake crumbs and frosting!! Maggie wanted to call him Templeton (having just watched Charlotte's Web the day before).

Afterward, Craig came over for dinner. (Ella's been looking at her "Who loves Baby" family photo book almost every day, so she's gotten pretty good at saying "Uncle Craig!")

It was hard to get the girls settled down after their junk food overload (juice, cookies, cake, chips) but Craig tolerated the noise pretty well. We were all exhausted, but I had a Diet Coke in the afternoon so I was up til 11pm, working on editing a mess of a book chapter. Luckily the girls slept well, woke up in good spirits, and seemed to have a pretty good day with Baba today.

Over all, the past few weeks have been pretty fun. Maggie had her last day of preschool and Chinese school on Thursday and Friday, respectively, and started soccer camp and art camp today. She's been doing a great job as "big sister", reading to Ella, playing house with her, even washing Ella's hair in the bath tonight. She still has moments where she acts like more of a 2-year-old than Ella does, but those moments seem to be decreasing in frequency, and my own "What on earth was i thinking??" moments are also fewer and farther between lately.

Here are some of my favorite photos from the past couple of weeks:

(Ella helping me make banana nut muffins)

(Marina and Maggie playing with homemade play-dough)

(Kiefer trying to get some peace and quiet)

(Maggie's Mandarin teacher with the girls on Maggie's last day)

(Ella excited about her cake)

(Mommy and Ella celebrating)

(Maggie running during her first day of Soccer Kids camp)

We'll try to get some photos of her art camp projects later this week.

After feeling like a 15-year-old two weeks ago, this week I feel like an 85-year-old!

2009-07-21T13:46:00.001-07:00

Duran Duran was in town a couple of weeks ago, and the idea of seeing them in a tiny club like the Fillmore was too good to pass up. So, the day before the show, I bought a ticket at Stub Hub. Luckily it was on a Tuesday (my day off), and Edward had a light schedule at work, so he came home to watch the girls so I could go into the city early.

I got there around 4:30, parked at the Kabuki and then waited in line, passing the time chatting with a cute couple from Los Gatos and a couple who had flown out from New Jersey to see the shows in Seattle & northern CA. (I think they all got autographs when the band arrived for sound check a little after 5.) At around 7pm Hetti & Lena brought me dessert, which was SO appreciated (thanks, Peter!!).

The show itself was amazing. When I got inside I was just a few feet from the stage and I took a photo of the set list.

I was so excited to see "Late Bar" on there! (Watch it, courtesy of our NJ friends, on YouTube). They also played "Election Day" (not a Duran Duran song, but Arcadia was composed of Nick, Simon and Roger so most Duran Duran fans have the Arcadia album, too), for which John brought out the very 80s "keytar":

The show was so much fun (there can't possibly be any pharmaceutical agents which can make me feel that good!) that (after begging Edward!) I went on Stub Hub again the next day and bought a ticket to the show that night in Saratoga. I was working in the city, and had to drive home to change clothes, then drove south through the city again and down to Saratoga. At first, as I drove up the winding road and into the already very full parking lot, I regretted my decision and all I could think of was what a drag it was going to be to get out of that parking lot. But once the show started, I forgot all about it and just had a great time dancing and singing like the silly 15-year-old I used to be. Here's my favorite shot from that show (Simon's in a white tux, having started the encore with "View To A Kill"):

Unless, of course, you count this, which was taken before the actual show but is definitely one of my favorite photos:

Those 4 autographs would never fit on my B-cups!!

Unlike this lucky girl, I didn't have VIP access at either of the SF area shows, but Ella and I got to meet Simon the day after the Mountain Winery show; we walked into the lobby of the hotel where they were staying and he was sitting at the bar, alone. I made eye contact and he didn't immediately look away, so I decided to be brave and walked over to say hi and told him I'd loved the shows. Looking at Ella, he said "Isn't she gorgeous??". I said "Say Ni Hao!" to Ella and she gave him a big smile and a "Hiiii!". I chatted briefly with Simon but didn't have the guts to ask for a photo. After Simon had left for the airport, Nick and Roger came down to the lobby on their way out. We did get to say hi to them and got a photo (though neither of whom seemed nearly as enthusiastic about Ella as Simon had!).

It's funny, as a teenager I was a total Nick fan, but the three times I've met them, Simon has been much more interesting and fun to talk to. [In fact, I was very put off by the fact that Nick said "That's terrible!" when I told him I was a veterinarian about 10 years ago! Seems he only relates veterinarians with the euthanasia of his cat (whom I believe was named Sebastian. Sad that I can remember that but I couldn't remember Ella's appointment with the speech pathologist today).]

Anyway, I managed to get through that week without feeling too exhausted (thanks to Diet Coke!) but the late nights finally caught up with me yesterday. On Friday night I got only 4 hours of sleep, having worked into the wee hours putting the finishing touches on a lecture for which I had to get up very early for the drive to Davis. After the lecture I joined the kids at the community pool for our monthly playgroup. Despite a nap that afternoon and sleeping in on Sunday (skipping my 10-mile run), I still felt like I'd been hit by a bus when I woke up yesterday. Didn't feel much better today, and even though I reduced the weights I lifted by 10lbs. on each machine I still felt like crying when I finished the circuit! But since I hadn't run since Thursday's Lake Merced race (4.5 miles in 37:17, which is fast for ME!), I really felt like I had to run. After 3 miles on the treadmill and 15 minutes of post-jog stretching, I felt much better. It's counterintuitive, but maybe I should run more, not less, when I'm exhausted and sore!

Five months together!

2009-07-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 5 month anniversary of the day we met Ella! The past week has actually been good. Maggie's been behaving well and has earned a piece of gum every day. She is doing fantastically in her swim lessons (Hiroe told me "You should definitely keep her in swimming. She's really good!") and seems to be doing well at school. Sarah commented on Tuesday that she's come a long way and is very "competent". The new teacher, Kim, said she did a great job at the "quiet game" that day, too. The girls are playing really nicely together (see photos below) and Edward and I are both enjoying them a lot more. Yesterday I worked a really long day (7:30am - 6:30pm), so they had already eaten when I got home at 7. Edward took them to the park and I had a quick bite, then joined them. We tickled and chased, did wheelbarrow walks, and Maggie and I did cartwheels. Both girls were laughing non-stop. It was one of the most enjoyable moments I've had with them both.

Here are some photos from the past week:

Ella's new words are getting more challenging: yogurt, tomato, lullaby, and my personal favorite, ravioli ("Ravy, Oley" is how she says it. Super cute.) She's also learned to say "diarrhea" (still having issues with the isoniazid!) and "Go away!" (you can guess where she got that one).

If this weekend was any indication of the rest of the summer...

2009-06-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

I think we may want to relocate to the City! It was uncomfortably hot here yesterday, and the turnout for the monthly playgroup was low (which was actually great, because it gave me a chance to spend some one-on-one time with one of my favorite moms). Maggie spent the first half hour lamenting the absence of her friends, but Ella and I had fun playing "tag".

Of course, both girls were happy to snack.

Maggie also did some 'heavy work' by climbing the rock wall.

Once Kyra showed up, followed by Hetti and Lena a bit later, both Ella and Maggie were happy as clams. They spent as much time hiding & snacking in the little bits of shade to be found as they did playing.

Edward spent Saturday AM at the Pride Run in the city, winning his age division and placing 5th overall! Here's Maggie showing off Baba's medal:

The girls were so hot and sweaty (and somewhat sticky from sunscreen) that we had to shower when we got home from the park, then Maggie helped me pick photos to put into a digital photobook for her orphanage, while Ella took a really long nap. She had been up late the night before (PJ party at Maggie's preschool, so the girls got to stay up late while Mommy & Baba had dinner and saw The Hangover - which was laugh-out-loud funny), and the sun is always exhausting, so she needed the sleep.

I could tell it was going to be another scorching hot day today when I left the house at 5:20am for my long run and it was already over 60 degrees. The sun wasn't even up yet! It was amazing to run through China Camp State Park, watching the sunrise over the glass-smooth waters of San Pablo Bay, hearing nothing except birdsongs and my own footfalls. Two does and a fawn, a red-shouldered hawk, a Greater Egret, a small flock of wild turkeys and 4 pairs of quail shared my path at various points along my 12-mile route. I also stopped at Bullhead flat for a bathroom break, and paused a moment to eat some Gu while watching a Great Blue Heron hunting along the shoreline. (This afternoon, as one of our neighbors described the Dipsea race, with its rutted paths, steep ascents and jostling competitors, I was left puzzled as to its draw! My ideal run? Solitude, gently rolling hills, a wide road with very little traffic, at least a little bit of shade, and the possibility of glimpsing a mountain lion on a hillside. As luck would have it, China Camp has all of those things, and happens to be just close enough to home to make it ideal for an 8-12 mile run.)

Anyway, with the heat already obvious even that early, Edward intelligently drove into the city for his long run and I headed to the community pool with the girls. We got there before 10am and secured a spot on the lawn for the umbrella and blankets. As the day progressed, among the throngs of people were several families we knew, so over the course of our 6 hours at the pool, the girls got to play with five different friends. Maggie, always at home in the water, was thrilled when one of the moms compared her to a mermaid. :) Ella is not so sure of the water, but had a good time sitting on the edge and splashing with her feet. Baba joined us after his run, which gave me some one-on-one time with Maggie.

Maggie went off the diving board about 5 times (and it took ME 4 attempts to capture the right moment!)

Well, given that I've been up since 5am and it's now 10pm, I'm going to sign off now. Can you believe it will be July in just a couple of days? Hey, that reminds me: yesterday marked 4 months since Ella arrived home. We put a photo book together for her orphanage, too; another family from our agency will be traveling to Hefei within the next couple of weeks, and we are hoping they can bring Ella's book with them to give to the CWI staff.

"No!"

2009-06-23T22:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, the moment we all knew was coming has finally arrived: Ella has started yelling "NO!". Usually it's a good-natured "NO!", said with a smile (rather than a defiant one said with a pout) but occasionally she'll say it quite seriously to Maggie when Maggie goes to take a toy or something from her. "Stop it!" has also become a familiar refrain when the two girls are playing together (although Ella's sounds more like "top it!").

In general, Ella is a pretty happy and compliant 2-year-old. Usually whenever we ask her to do something, she answers with "O.K.!" If I ask her to do me a favor (pick something up, hand me something) and I say "Thank you!" she says "Welcome!".

Saturday marked Ella's first Independence Day celebration. We didn't go out to see fireworks, but we had a great day on Saturday. We started the day with a 5K race along the parade route in picturesque Alameda (my fastest 5K to date, due to trying to keep up with Judy, the double-stroller queen who still runs circles around me even after a 2-week hiatus!).

After the race, we watched the parade

(Ella nearly jumped out of her skin when one of the flat-bed trucks honked its horn, but she looked back at me to check my reaction and then giggled when she saw me laughing!) then went for a late breakfast, at which all the girls behaved pretty well.

Both girls fell asleep on the drive home, but woke up when we arrived. I put Ella in bed for a longer nap and took Maggie to the Marin County Fair. She finally got to chew bubble gum, a moment she's been waiting for for a LONG time. Look how happy she looks!

Maggie did so much better at the fair than last year (we actually had to leave because she was having a tantrum about something or other) and got to have cotton candy and an ice pop.

She was also happy to get to "drive" a pink car this year

(last year she had yellow:)

Her favorite part (besides the treats!) was watching the horses.

She had such a great day that we let her wake up to watch the fireworks from our bedroom window. Unfortunately, either the lack of sleep or the abundance of junk food on Saturday made for a pretty miserable Sunday. Marina (whose parents leave for China later this week to bring home Marina's 2.5-year-old mei-mei) spent all day with us, and Maggie had a really hard time staying calm. Right from the start she convinced Marina to join her in throwing books down the stairs. What is that all about? She's never done that before! Anyway, I did my best to keep them entertained: we went to the park, we bought and planted some flowers, colored on the driveway with sidewalk chalk, had several snacks.

But when we were inside the house Maggie constantly wanted to play dog (which Marina got bored with pretty quickly), and did things seemingly on purpose just to annoy Marina (like when we were getting ready to leave for the pool and Marina asked for her shoes, Maggie picked them up and tossed them out of reach). She ended up having a tantrum, so I took Marina and Ella to the pool, and Edward kept Maggie at home until she was calm enough to join us.

She seemed to do fine at the pool and afterwards. I hope she has a good day at school today.

As for Ella, she seems happy as a clam. She still hides from her medicine at first

but then takes it without too much fuss. Her diarrhea has improved since I started giving her probiotics.

Last night was the first night she didn't cry when hugging me goodnight on a night when Baba is putting her to bed. We alternate putting her to bed, and she usually protests when it's Baba's turn, but he makes it more fun for her by tickling her and reading her lots of exciting stories. She has developed a cute bedtime behavior: When we leave her bedroom at night she yells "Wo ai ni!!", repeating it (and we answer back) until we are almost all the way down the stairs.

The highlight of her day is going to the park.

It's hard to believe that the scared little girl who cried the first time we put her in the swing 4 months ago, is now asking for "More dog!" (underdog) on the swings. She is speaking more and more all the time. Unlike Maggie, who used to just babble non-stop with a recognizable word thrown in every few words, Ella doesn't babble. She will just say the words she knows, not filling in the spaces between them with gibberish. She likes to tell me about her day - last week she had an accident while on a picnic with Maggie and Baba, and when I got home from work she said "Mommy: poop, Baba, bath, cry!" It's different watching her acquire her new language, but still just as much fun as having watched Maggie learn.

Ella's first FCC Campout

2009-06-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

We continued our Father's Day weekend tradition of attending the FCC - N. California Campout, although this is the first year we've gone without David, Chiara and Sofia. Maggie had just turned 3 when we camped out for the first time, and she and Sofia became fast friends.

We had a great time in 2007, and also last year.

This year was bittersweet because not only are David, Chiara and Sofia on the other side of the world, they are also still waiting for Sofia's mei-mei. (We originally met as part of our agency's July 2006 DTC group, and we were so excited about the prospect of traveling together to adopt our second daughters. Little did we know back then that the wait would drag out to reach 3-4 years!) David & Chiara: Even though you will still be in Singapore this time next year, we hope that you have your new little one by then!

As for Ella, we weren't sure how she would react to the whole camping experience. When we arrived, I put her to work helping me carry firewood.

Within minutes of arriving, Maggie took off on her bike. She was thrilled to be able to go fast without training wheels! But less than 5 minutes later, I hear wailing from the other side of the campground, and somehow I knew it was her. I ran over to find her on the ground, legs entangled in her bike, her chin all bloody. She was crying as if she'd broken her arm, but luckily the chin scrape and a minor cut on her thumb were the only injuries. I put her back on her bike and helped her back to the tent.

A Hello Kitty bandaid and some spray-on Neosporine with benzocaine did the trick, and she was back in good spirits in no time.

When we first showed Ella the tent and said "We're going to sleep here tonight!", she shook her head and said "Unh-unh". But by the time we rolled out the sleeping bags, she was all over it.

Other than the cold wind, Friday night was relatively peaceful, as only a few families arrived on Friday. We roasted marshmallows with JJ and family

and stayed up late. Finally, around 9:30pm, we got the girls into their sleeping bags. We went to bed, too, as it was too cold and windy to venture back out of the tent after dark! Both girls slept through the night with no trouble at all (what luck!).

Edward had to get up early on Saturday to leave for work, but the girls and I had a really fun day. I brought Ella over to meet some friends of ours from the SF playgroup, whom we hadn't seen since returning from China, and Maggie, JJ and Jackie went to catch tadpoles and tiny fish in the little creek. When we met up with them, Ella wanted to partake, of course, so I helped her collect a cupful of algae and small snails. She was a muddy mess when we were finished, but she had a great time. (Thank goodness for $3 Hanes sweats from Target!)

After that was a trip to the playground, where we ran into Lily.

In the afternoon Lily's and JJ's dads hosted a series of games for the 4-6 crowd, starting with a fun obstacle course

after which was an egg-carrying competition,

water balloon toss,

and treasure hunt. Ella was napping, so she is not in the group photo, which was taken right after the kids' games:

(Maggie is seated in the first row between Hetti and Lena, both wearing green jackets.)

After she awoke, Ella had a great time playing with the big girls. (Lily had arrived, sans June, around noon, and Hetti and Lena came an hour or so later.)

We made a new friend this year, an almost-5-year-old named Kate. She and JJ had a ball hunting for bugs with JJ's bug-catcher.

Saturday evening was less windy than Friday, but we were pretty tired and didn't stay out past night-fall anyway. Hetti, Lena and Lily joined us for more marshmallow roasting before we called it a night.

By Sunday morning we were all pretty exhausted. Maggie was enjoying riding other girls' bikes,

but did not want to share her own bike or helmet with her friends. A meltdown ensued, and we decided to hit the road early. Having forgotten my fibromyalgia meds and sleeping scrunched up trying to stay warm for 2 nights, I was dreadfully sore and my muscles seemed to be taking revenge on me for my carelessness. I had a wretched headache, too, and the windy road home was dreadful. But after a hot shower at home, we all felt refreshed, and were able to venture out to Sonoma Latina Grill for a nice Father's Day lunch.

I am looking forward to a nice, do-nothing weekend next weekend!

2009-06-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend! Saturday AM was easy - Edward was working and I went to the YMCA, where the girls played while I lifted weights and ran 5 miles on the treadmill. Saturday PM we went to a birthday party at Pump It Up!, a big inflatable party place with jumpies, a huge slide, and an air hockey game (which Maggie and Kristi, one of birthday-girl Caitlin's travel mates, loved).

Ella didn't want to go in any of the jumpies, but she did enjoy dancing to Michael Jackson tunes!

(And of course, eating. That was her favorite part.)

Sunday AM started out ok, although I was dog-tired on my 10-mile run. Poor Edward, though: it was sunny and getting warm by the time I finished my run around 8:40, so he drove into SF to do his 15 miles from Fort Point to AT & T Park and back. But there was a triathlon in the city, so his route was closed! He had to drive all the way back to San Rafael, where it was even warmer by then. His run was no fun, and to top it off he got bitten by a dog on the way home.

Luckily it was a small dog, and there was more of a bruise & scrape effect than punctures or lacerations. But still - I said we should report the dog (Edward did speak to the owner, and the dog had accidentally gotten out) because next time it could be a 3-year-old. Upon hearing me say that, Maggie burst into tears and said "I don't want my baby sister to get bited by a dog!"

I had my camera handy so I was able to capture her lugubrious expression. It was so sweet, her concern for Ella. Despite her occasional roughness and bouts of jealousy, Maggie really does love her mei-mei. She says "Ella is my best friend!" regularly. And it's been at least a month since she lashed out at Ella (e.g. trying to physically hurt Ella) in her jealousy. So even though there are days when I ask myself "What were we thinking??", moments like these remind me why we wanted two girls.

Later in the day, Maggie put together her birthday puzzle, a beautiful Ravensberger farm scene.

It was her first 100-piece puzzle, and she put it together almost entirely on her own in about 40 minutes. Boy was she proud!

Ella, on the other hand, is still working at the shape sorter, and will often give up and take the lid off, preferring to move the shapes into and out of the box the easy way.

Today Maggie's preschool had a little early graduation party for three of the kids who wouldn't be able to make it to the official ceremony & party this Friday. I was working, but Edward was able to go with Ella to see Maggie "graduate". It was nice that her friend Izzy will also be out of town this Friday, so they got to graduate together today.

The best part was a little memory book the teachers put together for each child. Maggie's has her handprints from the beginning of the year, some artwork, handwriting practice, and a handful of photos of her from throughout the year. Even though I didn't think that Pre-K "graduation" would mean much, it did make me teary-eyed to look through the book when I got home from work.

(Redeemer is a year-round school, though, so Maggie will continue there through July.)

After the ceremony there was a little party, and Ella gave her big sister a big hug.

This evening after dinner Baba took Ella to the park while Maggie and I went over to the Civic Center to do some community service, picking up litter (she "borrowed" some sunscreen from my bathroom and brought it to school today). Next time we will bring a bigger trash bag, as the shopping bag we brought was easily filled within about 20 minutes. It's kind of sad that a National Historic Landmark has so much trash on the grounds. It was really rewarding work, and Maggie actually asked if we could do it again tomorrow. I told her "Sure, we can do this anytime. You don't have to break the rules to do community service!" So, I'm not sure it will be an effective deterrent for her! However, after discussing it, neither Edward nor I feels comfortable with corporal punishment. So, since spanking is out, and Maggie doesn't seem to mind losing some of her own stuff, and she actually enjoys picking up trash, it appears that I'm running out of ideas for consequences!

I'm having a better week now...

2009-06-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

Ella is getting to be more fun every day. She is trying to tell me things all the time now. Yesterday Edward took the girls to the Academy of Sciences. When I got home Ella said "Mommy, Ella shui jiao Baba car" (e.g. "I fell asleep in Baba's car"). She is much less whiny, particularly about food. She will simply say "Eat!" and make the sign for eat when she's hungry, and doesn't demand food right that moment. She will say "Baba cooking" when we are making dinner. She even waits to eat until we've all said "Cheers". She's starting to say numbers and parts of the alphabet, although "E,F,G" and "Five!" are the only ones she says spontaneously. She's still eons behind where Maggie was at this age, but I think she's doing ok. I've lost count of her new words, but some of the recent additions include "buckle", "bubble", "pocket", "T-shirt", and "wave" (she likes to wave goodbye to Baba from the front window when he drives away).

Maggie had an appointment with an Occupational Therapist on Tuesday; it was really interesting. We went because, a) after reading some of my comments about Maggie's behavior, someone on one of my online groups suggested we look into sensory processing issues, and b) one of Maggie's friends, who had very similar behavior issues, has been going to this OT for about 4 months and is like a completely different child now. So, I figured it couldn't hurt to at least check it out. (Especially after last weekend!!)

It was completely not what I expected, from the kinds of tests they had her do (really fun stuff with "games" and equipment I'd never seen the likes of) to the results. I expected them to tell me her tactile sense was hypersensitive, since we used to battle about clothing textures, sock seams and lotion (now we pretty much let her wear whatever she wants, so we avoid the clothing arguments, but lotion is still not easy). What the OT said instead was that her muscles, especially her core muscles, are very weak, and that affects the signals sent to her brain about where her body is at any given moment, so she needs to move a lot to get signals from her muscles, to help her brain figure things out. So that's partially why she's "always on", always in motion. Accordingly, her sense of spatial awareness is off, which was evidenced by some simple drawings she could not duplicate. She could draw a square, a triangle and a circle individually just fine. But things like a circle touching the corner of a square: she drew them as two separate shapes, not even close to each other. Or a house: she copied the tiniest detailed circle-shaped window first, then tried to draw the shape of the house around the window, and it ended up looking nothing like a house. She didn't seem to see that the house was just a square, a rectangle, and a triangle all touching each other. It was really fascinating, as it was not intuitive to me AT ALL that muscle development and brain development are so intricately related. But I remember reading, just a few months ago, an article by a developmental neurologist stating that, until a child can do a cross-lateral skip (e.g. skipping with the right knee up and the left arm forward), they will not be able to read. The article discussed the signals between limbs and brain and the use of both halves of the brain to move the left arm and right leg at the same time, etc. It was surprising to me, as I figured if she can ride a two-wheeler, color inside the lines, and write her alphabet, she's ok. I knew her arm muscles weren't very strong, as she can't hang from the monkey bars for more than a second or two, but I'd never even considered that her core muscles might also be weak, and it was almost unfathomable that this would affect her brain development. But it makes sense to me now, why Maggie has not progressed at all with her reading: because neurologically/physiologically she is stuck at age 3. We pulled her out of gymnastics because she was not fully participating, but in hindsight that was the worst thing we could have done. She needed to work those muscles! Climbing at the park and swinging on the swings is not enough! She never got tummy time as an infant, she didn't crawl for more than 2-3 weeks before walking, and she has not done any sports or anything which would help strengthen those muscles. Now, I don't believe that this explains ALL of her behavior issues, but it certainly seems like it could account for some of them. It will be interesting to see if therapy has any effect. Some of them are things we can do at home, including "animal walks" like crab walking, donkey kicks, and wheelbarrow walking.

Parenthood, in a nutshell

2009-06-11T21:16:00.000-07:00

USMC Colonel Gregory "Pappy" Boyington (who flew with the American Volunteer Group in the Republic of China Air Force) once said "Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror."

Well, I've decided that "Parenthood is hours of frustration sprinkled with moments of joy."

No one tells you this before you are a parent, however. You must figure it out on your own. Sure, they say "It's the toughest job you'll ever love" and "It's hard, but so rewarding". Very cryptic, don't you think? What, exactly, does that mean?

What we need to say is "Every day, you hope that the good moments will outnumber the bad ones. On the days when they don't, you'll wish you never had kids. On days when they do, you wouldn't want to miss this experience for anything!"

2009-06-09T22:24:00.000-07:00